This is My Story (so far)

Born into a lovely family,
Such beautiful childhood until I turned 6.
My father started drinking and my mother was expecting.
So many adult movies were always on TV.
Sister and I couldn't stop watching.
By age 7 already addicted to pornography and masturbation.
At age 8 I was sexually assaulted by my father.
Used for oral sex when ever he wanted.
Beaten if I didn't obey.
By age 9 I was already drinking and smoking weed to calm down my nerves.
To top it off I wasn't only giving my father blow jobs when ever he pleased but also my cousins.
My parents went their separate ways, just 5 hours away.
Shit didn't end until when I was 12.
During spring break went to visit my father.
I tried to get him off.
I fought him.
I screamed I yelled.
I got a wire to choke him out,
Didn't get me anywhere but the hospital.
A broken arm and busted face.
Shit fucked me up more.
The only one that was truly ever there for me was Andrea.
She was my best friend.
She was also me.
I developed her at the age of 5.
After looked away in a storage room filled with porcelain dolls.
Being through so much I couldn't handle any more.
At the age of 13 I attempted my first suicide attempt.
Failed.
After popping 5 bottles over different pills,
I got a seizure.
With blood and foam I was found by my mother.
Lasted 7 months in an rehab center.
At the age of 14 I fell in love.
We met at the view.
I can say it was "love at first sight"
Just getting my shit together.
I was so scared to let anyone in.
2 months later we stared dating.
best year of my life.
At the age of 15, we became sexually active.
I ended up pregnant.
So many shit happened, the lost of my father figure.
I had a still-birth.
Never in my life did I feel so guilty and at fault.
I could have done something about it.
He would have still been here with me.
At the age of 16, I managed to pull myself together and "deal with it".
months later I found out I was pregnant for a second time.
I did everything I had to do in order to keep the baby, but everything I did was in vain.
I had a miscarriage.
I figured out that I should just keep back.
We didn't have any sexual activity for about 4 months.
He managed to make me happy and recover from the trauma.
Now 3 years into the relationship I am 17
I managed to fuck up my relationship.
I ruined the only thing that made me happy and complete.
I made a mistake that makes me feel so disgusted and dirty.
Showered 4 times today.
It was just a kiss but it felt like so much more.
I AM SUCH A WORTHLESS PEICE OF SHIT!!!
I'm so angry with myself for letting myself fall so low.
Lower than ever.