What is it to be polyamorous? To have multiple fires burning. When we meet a new person and start to link our eyes, minds and time. Eventually we align from interests and chatter bridging to investment and what matters. What is it to share so much of ourselves? We grow as individuals from every friend we meet, and when that friendship blossoms into something special we grow by miles of experience. The chambers of emotional maturity arise from letting go of insecurity. When nothing is guaranteed the most we can be is honored to be considered special enough to be alone with someone, to be truly trusted and open and given warmth for that moment. I have long held to the philosophy of falling in love with the moment, not the person. A person can't give you themselves, any more than you can have them. They can give you a moment and you can share it back. Every event is a holiday when you embrace moments as new, as one encounter at a time.
To truly love ourselves and expect the most of ourselves is to enhance and enchant our own existence. When we truly choose ourselves, we are able to seduce ourselves. When we accept only harmony and real listening, is when we start to see a charmed existence. To maximize this, get away from resistance, get out of our own way involves finding and loving all of ourselves. How much we discover of who we are in contrast to other people, versus being alone stems from the challenges and the comfort, the balance of rapport and pushing each other for more. Truly comfortable friends can challenge us, call us out, but still provide clarity, give listening, love. We see ourselves in our friends, hence why each one is chosen. Companions reflect aspects of ourselves we admire or facets we wish to assume. As we grow older and filter out the results of our actions as well as the role models we choose for each trait our personal profiles become more clarified. This requires an adaptable sense of self-awareness, a mercurial roll, a sureness of our role balanced with a willingness to try something new. Meeting new friends, starting new fires exercises this muscle.
This is part of where NRE, New Relationship Energy comes from. This is Mother Nature's strange biological trick to ensure that we each continuously endeavor to be our best selves. Towards the end of attracting mates and breeding we must constantly sharpen our talents and self-awareness, strengthen our innate abilities, re-define our character in a changing social sphere while still remaining congruent to the core. The many indelible impacts a lover makes on our minds leaves a footprint in our step for future encounters not just with said lover but with the world. Hence why the most compassionate and dedicated lovers are the ones who look forward to seeing who you will be when encountered next, not merely who they wish you could have remained a previous time. "The caterpillar don't care what you think about him. He was born to be fly; his nature gone bring it out of him." --Dead Prez. When many irreplaceable portraits are seared across your soul the gallery you carry internally creates a kaleidoscope. A multi-beveled lens for future decisions also serves as a platform upon which we build ourselves. If Life is a stage, we self-create when we design our own. Life is different once you take full accountability for your changes, full responsibility for all your communications, for everything in your life. Even when the results weren't what were intended, what goes past intent is what happens and what we do with it. Growing through this, adapting to be our finest selves yields a chemical reward in the form of serotonin and oxytocin, the happy juice and the cuddle juice. Continuously re-injecting NRE into our lives keeps the mind fluid, the social response rolling forward. We learn and evolve.
Strange love that maybe takes place somewhere unseen but so near beause of something bigger than us. If all life is a single consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, every narrative playing out as another node of possibility, then the unity formed in pair bonding may very well be a macro-evolutionary imperative, a mystic pull from the heart of human life itself. We are Groot. Love as a verb means finding and accepting so much of me and you, the me in and of you and the you of me, making it all good. The only thing I ever tried to change about those I loved was their mood.