deepundergroundpoetry.com
Siempre Con Sed
Quiero tu boca en mi boca
Quiero física, quiero loca
Ven a nadar en mis mares
explorarme como las calles
usar las manos para guiar
mi cuerpo empezar a cantar.
Cuando estoy acostada en tus brazos
Y me devoras con tus ojos
Tragas mi alma. Yo conozco tu toque.
Sólo tus dedos recuerdan. ¿Por que
Siempre estamos perdidos
Hasta que puedas soltar los ríos?
No hay más espacio por una día
nunca condenada a pasar solitaria
Hay especia en mis venas
disfrutame como tu cena
mi piel es virgen
sabes que estas bien
cuando me tocas aquí
Y gustar conmigo ahí
Me hace olvidar
Lo que quería encontrar
Tú eres fuego y hombre
Enamorada es mi lengua
Cuando susurro tu nombre
Tómame como agua .
(First attempt at a poem in Spanish, may not be perfect-- can use advice from native speakers. Spanish is not my first language, but learning.)
Quiero física, quiero loca
Ven a nadar en mis mares
explorarme como las calles
usar las manos para guiar
mi cuerpo empezar a cantar.
Cuando estoy acostada en tus brazos
Y me devoras con tus ojos
Tragas mi alma. Yo conozco tu toque.
Sólo tus dedos recuerdan. ¿Por que
Siempre estamos perdidos
Hasta que puedas soltar los ríos?
No hay más espacio por una día
nunca condenada a pasar solitaria
Hay especia en mis venas
disfrutame como tu cena
mi piel es virgen
sabes que estas bien
cuando me tocas aquí
Y gustar conmigo ahí
Me hace olvidar
Lo que quería encontrar
Tú eres fuego y hombre
Enamorada es mi lengua
Cuando susurro tu nombre
Tómame como agua .
(First attempt at a poem in Spanish, may not be perfect-- can use advice from native speakers. Spanish is not my first language, but learning.)
Published 24th Mar 2016
| Edited 28th Dec 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 8
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'Sempre con sed 'is the proper translation to 'always thisty'
Me gusto.
Some phrases are difficult to literally translate into Spanish. You are close, but not quite right on some, though I understood what you were trying to convey.
Me gusto.
Some phrases are difficult to literally translate into Spanish. You are close, but not quite right on some, though I understood what you were trying to convey.
24th Mar 2016 2:17pm
25th Mar 2016 00:46am
I used a translator to get the gist. What a feat you've accomplished! I'm uncertain I could venture into these waters, and have always admired translators of Neruda and other masters, and their ability to retain the essence of the verse. You've done that here, in my opinion.
There is a comp for writing in a different language. You should enter this.
There is a comp for writing in a different language. You should enter this.
I don't feel gifted enough to enter it into a competition haha. I feel like to enter into it, it is needs a near perfect translation. I'm waiting to see if any Spanish speakers can correct some of my mistakes and help me keep the scheme.
Thanks for reading my experiment. I don't think I will try this experiment again for awhile. It was challenging, but it is also a beautiful language that I hope to be fluent in within a year or two :-)
Thanks for reading my experiment. I don't think I will try this experiment again for awhile. It was challenging, but it is also a beautiful language that I hope to be fluent in within a year or two :-)
27th Apr 2016 11:19pm
17th Sep 2016 3:21pm
Excellent piece!! You got some GREAT creative lines here!!!!
Spanish help suggestions (in my own view to my personal understanding):
*. Y me devorar con tus ojos..................change devorar to devoras (for better tense of the word)
*. Porque (spelled together means because).
Por que (as two words means Why?
Change porque to por que', as you are asking the question Why? In your poem.
* Hasta que puede suelte los rios........(translated: Until can releases the rivers)-distorted
Hasta que pueda soltar los rios.... (translated: Until (I, you) can release the rivers)-
Hasta quien pueda soltar los rios....translated: Until whoever can release the rivers
Change first entry to the 2nd or 3rd suggestion (depending on what you mean to say)
Now, back to this excellent piece: My favorite lines bursting in flames for me:
>>Ven a nadar en mis mares
Explorarme como las calles
>>Tu eres fuego y hombre
Enamorada es mi lengua
Cuando susurro tu nombre
Bursts of fireworks go off in my mind with these favorite lines....LOVE IT!!!!!
Spanish help suggestions (in my own view to my personal understanding):
*. Y me devorar con tus ojos..................change devorar to devoras (for better tense of the word)
*. Porque (spelled together means because).
Por que (as two words means Why?
Change porque to por que', as you are asking the question Why? In your poem.
* Hasta que puede suelte los rios........(translated: Until can releases the rivers)-distorted
Hasta que pueda soltar los rios.... (translated: Until (I, you) can release the rivers)-
Hasta quien pueda soltar los rios....translated: Until whoever can release the rivers
Change first entry to the 2nd or 3rd suggestion (depending on what you mean to say)
Now, back to this excellent piece: My favorite lines bursting in flames for me:
>>Ven a nadar en mis mares
Explorarme como las calles
>>Tu eres fuego y hombre
Enamorada es mi lengua
Cuando susurro tu nombre
Bursts of fireworks go off in my mind with these favorite lines....LOVE IT!!!!!
28th Dec 2016 3:53am
