deepundergroundpoetry.com
A birds Symphony
The bird that broke its wing
Sang a sombre song
It sang all night long
sang for the sunrise
Sang for the moon
Sang for recovery
Hoping it will come soon
The bird that broke its wing
Whispered with the wind
As it was the wind
That lead the song into the air
But all this bird could think about was her
The bird that broke its wing sat there
Waiting for what it knew was already true
The bird sat there whilst knowing
She was already in the air
For she sang a sombre song
A song so strong
For it reminded her of days long gone
The bird that flew
Sang for the bird with a broken wing
For it was the wind that fuzed
The two sombre songs
And made a melody
So sweet
A symphony of sombreness
The destruction of loneliness
Because when his wing recovered
It was his heart that she mended
But now
Now they fly together
Floating in the whispering wind
Singing a duet of joy
Then Reciting A birds Symphony
Sang a sombre song
It sang all night long
sang for the sunrise
Sang for the moon
Sang for recovery
Hoping it will come soon
The bird that broke its wing
Whispered with the wind
As it was the wind
That lead the song into the air
But all this bird could think about was her
The bird that broke its wing sat there
Waiting for what it knew was already true
The bird sat there whilst knowing
She was already in the air
For she sang a sombre song
A song so strong
For it reminded her of days long gone
The bird that flew
Sang for the bird with a broken wing
For it was the wind that fuzed
The two sombre songs
And made a melody
So sweet
A symphony of sombreness
The destruction of loneliness
Because when his wing recovered
It was his heart that she mended
But now
Now they fly together
Floating in the whispering wind
Singing a duet of joy
Then Reciting A birds Symphony
Published 22nd Mar 2016
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The author encourages honest critique.
21st Jan 2017 7:37pm
I really like the personification of animals, which brings forth a lot of earthly nature (along with the "wind.") I felt a little confused with your transitional word choice, "but," in this part:
"But now
Now they fly together
Floating in the whispering wind."
I felt that I would've been less confused if the transitional word, "and," replaced "but." Nonetheless, this is a deeply emotional and metaphoric story that any person can nicely read and easily understand.
"But now
Now they fly together
Floating in the whispering wind."
I felt that I would've been less confused if the transitional word, "and," replaced "but." Nonetheless, this is a deeply emotional and metaphoric story that any person can nicely read and easily understand.
27th Mar 2018 10:32pm
i'm not sure if sombre was the best word choice. my favorite lines are "Because when his wing recovered / It was his heart that she mended."
