Business

 

Relentless
Ruthless
Too easy to remain
Wallowing in it
Swallowing the swill
Left by the detritus
Of some other's will


I think not
Not anymore
The demons they frolic
Right on in my head
But I think despite their
Desperate cavorting
I’ve business to attend to


And, in spite of the slop
Left behind from those most unkind
Who never cleaned up
Left it all to ferment
Reveling gleefully in the decay of a mind


I’ll be airing the linens, sunning the sheets
Shoveling the slop; sloughing and debriding decay
Ceasing the wallowing, no more swill swallowing
Enough with detritus already
Ugh and ugh again
Enough is enough
How many of you fuckers are there anyway?
Jam-packed in my past just waiting to assault me again?
I know. I know. I just don’t want to know.


So
Once again, I’m here and I’m saying enough now.
I’m no longer playing.
This game isn’t fun for me ~ it never was
But, this time I’m calling how this particular one's played:


Get the fuck out of my head and stay the hell out
I’ve enough going on in here as it is without added insanity
Me and my crazies, we do just fine without you and yours joining in talkin' bout how bad I am
Once, you had me convinced I was the only one who ever erred for all you spoke of sin and redemption
So now you’re dead and somehow here you are still here in my head still messin' with me
Nasty, reprehensible, disgusting, incorrigible: that’s all you’ll ever be.
I tried so hard to make you proud of me and yes, you were human with foibles and flaws like all of us.
There were good things about you, assuredly. You weren’t one-dimensional: some villain in a bad book.
Even so, right now, I’ve got to evict you from me. Not an easy task at the best of times.
Now? While I’m fighting to retain my mind, even harder, grandpa, even more difficult for me.
Go on now. Get out. I’ve said it at last. Told family secrets abjured to never let out.
Those alluded to yet never said. Mayhap, at last, I’ll get some peace. Get out now! Just let me sleep.