PTSD

Powerful. I like the urgency and desperation here.

Jack,
Many thanks and much appreciation. Desperation is one of the hardests feelings to convey for me. Its chaotic and senseless.
 Xo

Hullo,  welcome to this place

sometimes it's hard to write about a serious subject within the confines of a ryhme scheme. we're conditioned as kids to read ryhme a certain way.  I think you've pulled it off ok

good stuff, fair play

Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it. I prefer to write without rhyme or other confines, but I've been playing around with different schemes lately. Trying my hand at new things. I thought the rhyming here would convey the thoughts in my head, the urgency..

 Desperation is chaotic and senseless....you said it yourself...a grandiose  cathedral built to contain only a picture in a frame seen as if a mirror to your soul...nice ink. SS

That's perfect! Why didn't I think of that? Thank you for the kind words Satans.
Xo

Distress and disorder are here contained momentarily but the urgency and desperation are spinning - powerful true write

Thank you Whale. I appreciate your comments.  There's so much more but to put it all into words at once would require delving into each thought, each emotion. Hobestly it simply isn't possible for me. I would get lost in my own mind, swept up in a whirlwind of thoughts that I just cant handle. Its a mess. Incoherent babbling in my mind.

This poem burns with blame and shame and the nameless force which has brought chaos to a young woman's life. Truly a panorama of aching and heartrending power. You make the woman's mindscape vivid and of grand virtuosity. This is genuine, real, and raw.

XOXO
John

Thank you sugar. I'm happy to have expressed my thoughts as well as this. To express my emotion so clearly. I didn't think I would be able to.
Always  xoxx

Hi, my name's Ed and I enjoyed your poem.       
         
 I want to explain that I'm not the typical reader who claps and says yay at everything I read, unless of course there's a squirrel, or large stuffed animals involved... Just say'n...    
     
 I have opinions on writing and will critique around those ideas. That being said I'm not trying to be a know-it-all asshole, so please don't take it that way. It's nice getting friends to read your poem and give a high-five, but that's not going to improve your writing...       
        
You have great ideas for images and even though I despise metronome rhyme this was an ok read. It also feels a little disjointed, but that could also be a PTSD effect...       
      
 The most important thing is to remember is plain and simple, you don't need to rhyme. However, one of the easiest ways to improve your writing for yourself and the reader is your diction, or your placement of words. Keep the rhymes, but don't place them at the end of each, or every other line, because it makes it chunky. Start a new line with the rhyme, or the middle of the new line instead. It makes it so there's less forcing of words which kills flow and impact, because your diction has to be a certain way to work. At the same time it creates an off-rhyme effect which is more appealing and reader friendly. After awhile you will write like this without even thinking of rhymes and it will happen naturally. My latest poem is a perfect example, because it has way more rhyme than I typically use and I didn't plan any of it.       
        
Have a great day...

wow really really good I got chills for gods sake!
been a while since I find a poem like this thank you!

like your begging for someone, something anything to make you whole again I like this