Why

Freedom.
I want it more than anything.
Couldn't have it over there,
and I worked hard for it.
Rifle in hand and self respect in the dirt.
Leading to a path of knowledge and the journey to obtain more before they put a bullet in my head for knowing too much of course.
I wanted to be a hero, but now I find myself in exile.
Let it be known my dislike for the government, and for the general public.
I am not borderline or full blown.
I have my motive.
I'm not a threat yet and when they realize my power lies not in physical presence but my gift for making others feel I'll be good and dead.

 As I spend time re-integrating. I have realized that New York City is extremely racist. It appears  "My skin was the sin" once again and we live in a world where the people just pretend. I can honestly say. I have no connection to people except family and friends. Not anymore. I have served my native land to come back and be treated as another nigger. You won't say it, but that's why taboos are so intriguing. You can't help it I get the same feeling about murdering people. I understand. I am extremely qualified to work any entry level field and excel at everything in my path. My resume stacked yet I wont get the time of day. It can't just be my skin. I'm a clean cut individual with drive. So why?
 
   I wrote a 15 page summary for the company I wanted to work for of my own free will to prove my extensive knowledge. Why are my efforts wasted? I  joined the army because I couldn't get a job and I couldn't afford college even with aid. I did my service and I'm a better man, but I feel like all you see is my skin. I refuse to feel ashamed about who I am even if it means going out of my way to prove a point. All I have is my beautiful family and collection of books. I'll be a man of knowledge and truth.Then we'll see them tell me I can't make it. I won't give up . I fear that when I prove I can do for my own I will be gunned down senselessly.  I am paranoid but I've seen corruption first hand in the army. I will say this NYC is more racist than anything I've ever seen first hand. I had to leave and come back to see it.  
 
The cops gentrify the neighborhood with an onslaught of fire power.I wish I could say fuck them whole, but its only a few bad eggs with the ability to rot the rest.Same can be said for the people who look like me. I accept that the world just sucks and its dog eat dog. I respect and love it. I thrive in this type of environment. There really isn't a good and bad. Just what they tell you. Think for yourselves.
 
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Saved my life in more ways than one.

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The reason it will take a bullet to end my conquest for knowledge, and even then....

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Is the reason why no matter how institutionalized the oppression of my kind is I will never give up and be one thousand steps ahead. I am better than those who don't believe in me because of my outer shell.

I will succeed in my path even if it leads to my demise.