Cooties

When I was a boy,the television taught me all I knew.I absorbed everything I saw,and heard.Comedy was my modis operandi.I'd entertain with impersonations or jokes,etc.
If a line got laughs on TV,I assumed it was good enough to use.Many times,I was wrong.I would hurt feelings with jabs, that I couldn't have known were insensitive.Or I would unwittingly embarrass myself.
At a family dinner,I once shouted,"Honk if you're horny!"...I'd heard that on TV.
After a few moments,the room exploded with a hearty burst of yucks. My giant smile was squashed,when I realised that I was being laughed at,not with.
Once,a dear loved one casually discussed school and life in general with my brother,and I.She had been inquiring of him,when she asked me if I liked any girls in my class.
"No!...girls are gross!",I said.
To which she scornfully replied,
"What are you,gay or something?"
Her response was a soulcrusher...and not the kind of thing I expected from her.I'd never been hurt by her or anyone, in that way.This changed how I regarded her after that.The very first sting of contempt,and rejection that my young heart had ever experienced.
I had watched enough TV,to know what she meant.I wasn't gay...I was six years old...and that's what I had learned from The Little Rascals...no girls allowed.I had never considered what Spanky,or Buckwheat were doing behind closed doors.
What if I had been gay? Can you imagine living with the cold hearted rejection,and judgement of a loved one?For the entirety of your life? Who the f--k talks to a kid like that?
I just said a feeble"no",walked away from her,and cried as walked.I told myself way back then,that I didn't think anyone should have to feel the way I did,at that very moment.Not by my hand,or anyone else's.
Fortunately,the television never taught me to be a bigot.