deepundergroundpoetry.com
Night Journey into Darkness
- Night Journey into Darkness -
Based on an out of body experience I had tonight,
on Thursday, February 18, 2016 at 2:00 A.M.
What doth it mean to truly be alive?
An eternal question, asked by many...
To answer it, some eternally may strive,
Lost and longing for nigh unto eternity.
Am I seeking, am I found; I know not...
For I see and hear things I cannot say,
The totality of, nor express it in thought.
How canst the lost hope to find a way?
For words fail, when the senses swim,
Amid dark imaginings clad in shadows.
Where does nightmare end and begin?
Or dream, like fog fallen on meadows.
Am I waking, do I sleep; is there truth,
In hidden things, forsaken by memory?
I see too much to ever try to remove...
What visions I beheld all too suddenly,
This eve, when they came to me cruel.
Unbidden, forcing their way to mind...
From domains utterly ablaze yet cool,
Hellish yet heavenly, awful yet sublime.
What secrets should I try to utter?
A terrible question, asked by saints...
And by sinners too, their hearts aflutter,
With horrific hopes, and heavy taints.
A cold sweat, and heat burning as fire...
These things I felt, along with a dread,
Which cannot be described; very dire.
Very primal, was the fear which bled...
My reason from me, sending me deep,
Down black chasms where all is dark!
Weakness, nausea, the desire to flee...
Such came upon me, and I didst hark.
For I saw with eyes that art not blind,
But unchained, from human clouding...
Voices called me seeker, and to find!
To peer past subconscious shrouding.
And I saw, oh dear gods what I saw!
Too much, too hot, too cold, all bare.
I was there, where sharp things claw...
And piercing eyes, into the soul stare.
What doth it mean to be damned?
A fearsome question, asked not light...
Answered by more insistent command,
Even as I fled, even as I began to fight.
I reached out and my arm was bloody,
Skinless, for spirits require no clothing.
Am I still beautiful, bereft of humanity?
Beautiful and terrible without covering!
In the netherworld, passing the gates...
Seven in number, seeking to live more.
For the dead desire much ere all is late,
And, so, I strove to cross every door...
The blood red queen, within her home.
I could neither run nor ever look away,
Since I was beyond the darkest tomb...
Bloody hands, reaching for light of day.
At length, I felt my skin return in glory,
As I shed the darkness to return swift!
Back to my living world, oft of worry...
And, it seemed as if I hadst never left.
The queen returns, but am I beautiful?
Once in the mirror I still saw in horror,
What I was in that place most terrible!
That vision wracked me unto my core.
But it passed, and all I hadst endured...
I remembered, but could not speak of.
So I began to write this, so enamored,
Once more with living, and joys of love.
Based on an out of body experience I had tonight,
on Thursday, February 18, 2016 at 2:00 A.M.
What doth it mean to truly be alive?
An eternal question, asked by many...
To answer it, some eternally may strive,
Lost and longing for nigh unto eternity.
Am I seeking, am I found; I know not...
For I see and hear things I cannot say,
The totality of, nor express it in thought.
How canst the lost hope to find a way?
For words fail, when the senses swim,
Amid dark imaginings clad in shadows.
Where does nightmare end and begin?
Or dream, like fog fallen on meadows.
Am I waking, do I sleep; is there truth,
In hidden things, forsaken by memory?
I see too much to ever try to remove...
What visions I beheld all too suddenly,
This eve, when they came to me cruel.
Unbidden, forcing their way to mind...
From domains utterly ablaze yet cool,
Hellish yet heavenly, awful yet sublime.
What secrets should I try to utter?
A terrible question, asked by saints...
And by sinners too, their hearts aflutter,
With horrific hopes, and heavy taints.
A cold sweat, and heat burning as fire...
These things I felt, along with a dread,
Which cannot be described; very dire.
Very primal, was the fear which bled...
My reason from me, sending me deep,
Down black chasms where all is dark!
Weakness, nausea, the desire to flee...
Such came upon me, and I didst hark.
For I saw with eyes that art not blind,
But unchained, from human clouding...
Voices called me seeker, and to find!
To peer past subconscious shrouding.
And I saw, oh dear gods what I saw!
Too much, too hot, too cold, all bare.
I was there, where sharp things claw...
And piercing eyes, into the soul stare.
What doth it mean to be damned?
A fearsome question, asked not light...
Answered by more insistent command,
Even as I fled, even as I began to fight.
I reached out and my arm was bloody,
Skinless, for spirits require no clothing.
Am I still beautiful, bereft of humanity?
Beautiful and terrible without covering!
In the netherworld, passing the gates...
Seven in number, seeking to live more.
For the dead desire much ere all is late,
And, so, I strove to cross every door...
The blood red queen, within her home.
I could neither run nor ever look away,
Since I was beyond the darkest tomb...
Bloody hands, reaching for light of day.
At length, I felt my skin return in glory,
As I shed the darkness to return swift!
Back to my living world, oft of worry...
And, it seemed as if I hadst never left.
The queen returns, but am I beautiful?
Once in the mirror I still saw in horror,
What I was in that place most terrible!
That vision wracked me unto my core.
But it passed, and all I hadst endured...
I remembered, but could not speak of.
So I began to write this, so enamored,
Once more with living, and joys of love.
Published 18th Feb 2016
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18th Feb 2016 2:47pm
So detailed and speak your thoughts so well. That must have been an amazing yet harrowing experience. I hope you are feeling alright now Kara dear.:)
19th Feb 2016 00:20am
a scary moment indeed it was for both of us Grace for what seemed like a few moments to me was hours to her from what she said. it left her very shaken and upset and now I am begining to understand why.
Oh, sweet Grace! When I first came back from that experience I could honestly not put into spoken words quite what it was that I had seen, been through, and felt. Some things are hard to convey, some sights difficult to put into the right terms. Some sensations are almost impossible to find words for. It was indeed harrowing... few other words would suffice to form the beginnings of a proper description of the events that transpired. But I am indeed quite recovered from the ordeal now! Thank you so very much for your concern, my dear.
Methinks I had Zoey more than a little worried too... she has seen me go through such out of body experiences before, but this one I'd wager scared her more than most due to my own frightful reactions to it. However, I passed through the darkness and emerged with my light not in the least bit diminished. Why it affected me as powerfully as it did, is due to the fact that it was triggered by the emerging of an ancient, long-buried memory from another life... one I had buried for a reason. But it is good I faced it, I suppose! It only seems to have made me all the stronger. However, such a journey is not something I would say is ever done lightly or without leaving its' mark in some capacity. A lot of it will stay with me for a good long time, but now that I've mastered my fear of it at least I will be able to cope with it.
Writing a poem about it definitely helped though! Poetry is always good therapy even to help with mundane matters... and when dealing with otherworldly matters and seeking the right words to speak of them with, poetry can be both the key and a soothing balm of sorts. Plus, then the poem can be shared with others so that what wisdom and knowledge is gained will not be lost with time. That is how I tend to see it, at any rate. *Smiles* :)
Methinks I had Zoey more than a little worried too... she has seen me go through such out of body experiences before, but this one I'd wager scared her more than most due to my own frightful reactions to it. However, I passed through the darkness and emerged with my light not in the least bit diminished. Why it affected me as powerfully as it did, is due to the fact that it was triggered by the emerging of an ancient, long-buried memory from another life... one I had buried for a reason. But it is good I faced it, I suppose! It only seems to have made me all the stronger. However, such a journey is not something I would say is ever done lightly or without leaving its' mark in some capacity. A lot of it will stay with me for a good long time, but now that I've mastered my fear of it at least I will be able to cope with it.
Writing a poem about it definitely helped though! Poetry is always good therapy even to help with mundane matters... and when dealing with otherworldly matters and seeking the right words to speak of them with, poetry can be both the key and a soothing balm of sorts. Plus, then the poem can be shared with others so that what wisdom and knowledge is gained will not be lost with time. That is how I tend to see it, at any rate. *Smiles* :)
21st Feb 2016 3:15am
Sorry to have frightened you so, Zoey! It was... it was indeed as you have read in the poem. Powerful, terrible, and dark but with a certain horrible beauty to it as well. Otherworldly and unspeakable... and to some I'd imagine it would be akin to a journey through Hell. But Hell is something I've been through before both in this world and beyond it... so I was quite able to overcome the worst of it and emerge from the journey okay. It was indeed like hours... there is always a difference in time between this reality and "higher" realities. But fortunately it was indeed only moments of earthly time and not longer. Thank you for being there for me (and with me, right at my side) through the whole of it, Zoey! You managed your fear well too, being the strong woman that you are also. Such strength makes it that much easier for me to bear such glimpses of dark knowledge and ancient memories as this! :D
