deepundergroundpoetry.com
hurt me eyes
hurt me eyes – ombre tears
lips that plead ‘come back to me’
a torch song wanes & silence nears
blueness deeper than the sea
sorrow earned & passion sold
reaching for a burning star
would trade it for a hand to hold
so close, but much too far
stone ponies on a carousel
innocent lies. come hither stare
hotel room booked & secrets tell
let’s not call it a sordid affair
a man knows how the cold wind blows
loads his gun to settle a score
some girls too quickly shed their clothes
walks in a woman, comes out a whore
a nameless street. a random bar
these things are never planned
jukebox dreams & one more scar
a drink. another one-night stand…
cursing love, caressing shame –
you’re lonely all the same
(Artist unknown)
Published 31st Jan 2016
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likes 20
reading list entries 4
comments 16
reads 1647
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The author encourages honest critique.
31st Jan 2016 10:45pm
What a gritty (I like gritty) write, John. There are
so many lines which says so much within this
fantastic poem of yours . . .
"cursing love, caressing shame –
you’re lonely all the same"
Yesss!
so many lines which says so much within this
fantastic poem of yours . . .
"cursing love, caressing shame –
you’re lonely all the same"
Yesss!
31st Jan 2016 10:48pm
John,
Heartbreaking and lovely!
The poems you weave are always
mind blowing! Thank you for sharing!
Really enjoyed this 😊
Heartbreaking and lovely!
The poems you weave are always
mind blowing! Thank you for sharing!
Really enjoyed this 😊
31st Jan 2016 11:25pm
"stone ponies on a carousel
innocent lies. come hither stare
hotel room booked & secrets tell
let’s not call it a sordid affair" oh i love that stanza..exquisite ink as always John
innocent lies. come hither stare
hotel room booked & secrets tell
let’s not call it a sordid affair" oh i love that stanza..exquisite ink as always John
omg Johnny..
I hope this is not your bleeding heart gorjus : (
even in pain your pen takes no prisoners!
loves you Johnny Rotten
a most excellent sribe.
Jackie xoxoxoxoxox
I hope this is not your bleeding heart gorjus : (
even in pain your pen takes no prisoners!
loves you Johnny Rotten
a most excellent sribe.
Jackie xoxoxoxoxox
1st Feb 2016 1:04am
incredible ink JohnFeddeler ... so beautiful, the melancholy lies just below the surface from start to finish .. you don't usually go for the rhyme verse, but here, it is just exquisite ... i don't know of too many that can bring it to this level ...
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
1st Feb 2016 1:37am
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
1st Feb 2016 2:08am
Churning with ya..
1st Feb 2016 6:00am
There's a poignancy to the last two stanzas that make this cold and hard like the rocks in a highball
1st Feb 2016 3:36pm
It's an ancient story that wears different clothing each era. A melancholy melody that weaves within a dream if for nothing but to keep it alive.
1st Feb 2016 4:35pm
i love your arsonist lullabies, mister feddeler...
... this was breathtaking
xo
... this was breathtaking
xo
1st Feb 2016 9:05pm
2nd Feb 2016 2:48am
"cursing love, caressing shame –
you’re lonely all the same" ... - a cautionary tale, perhaps. It's going through life without coming out jaded. Always a pleasure, blue angel
you’re lonely all the same" ... - a cautionary tale, perhaps. It's going through life without coming out jaded. Always a pleasure, blue angel
2nd Feb 2016 4:30pm
You've written such a yearning piece Mr F, that it breaks my heart. As usual I love it. You write divine poetry and I wonder just how much your own heart pays to find this within.
Beautiful ink.
John
Beautiful ink.
John
2nd Feb 2016 11:51pm
Damn this is some of the finest and extremely powerful ink John.
Cheers...Harry
Cheers...Harry
13th Feb 2016 2:43pm
Very lyrical , John, with a nice flow and rhythm. Awesome lines throughout with the third and fourth stanzas my favorites. Great job !
16th May 2017 9:10am
Exquisite as always, John, just beautiful.
'sorrow earned & passion sold
reaching for a burning star
would trade it for a hand to hold
so close, but much too far'
Earning tears for sorrow...
'sorrow earned & passion sold
reaching for a burning star
would trade it for a hand to hold
so close, but much too far'
Earning tears for sorrow...
