Eons

I Remeber when I could flow
When all I had to do was touch ink to paper and a world was born
When my thoughts didn't scramble to be understood
When ink was my life force and my pen my body
So long ago now
Has it really been years
Not weeks and days since that part of me died
Fuck I miss it
When music was scary and sweet
Not just noise at the back of my mind
And when books and art was an escape
Not a prison
I used to breathe
Not choke
I remember when my body could make art with a few twirls
And when my lungs made the sweetest melody
Before I poisoned my body and killed my mind
Before I put a needle in my arm and a blade to my wrist
I remember when I was I and not her
I remember when I was alive