apadravya worship ~ {ii}

i have trekked barefoot across the dunes in your mouth
taking swift departure from the place where center & periphery
melded into a warped idol, worshiped for its misshapen nature.
had i known then that which my consciousness now cradles
in its womb, had i known the press of your syllables
the reverberation of your inked litanies against my soles,
i may have remained at the crossroads of fancy & disillusionment
never understanding the necessity of the latter for growth,
for the flourishing of the egoic lotus during the journey of a soul.
had i not tried to love you [agape] for fear of my aura
seeping in ruin to whet roots of your temple, i may never have known
more than weeds bloom in the shade of beings
i once raised to godhood

there have been moments the light of intuition remained
behind my clouded judgment; i am grateful for silencing the intonation
of heart & instinct, the blinding of foresight [closing my ajna]
to the potential of your destruction.
i allowed your will to manifest on all the planes of my existence,
birthed your omnipotence from my desperate nataraja
when you withdrew your illumination from my folded & unawakened evolution.

{i}divinity :  
i turned outward, wrapped myself around the fingers of the world
as it held sodom's apple to my lips, beckoning with intent.
kept my nails buried in the gospels between your shoulders,
the sacred text of your skin, velveteen vedas;  read to the detriment
of the incarnations i laid bare before your shrine.
i approached with prayer, as one does divinity, gracelessly seeking
the most intangible aspects of reality.
you answered, for a time, as though it amused you to dally with toys
unworthy of your notice.
Written by _shadoe_ (katyusha)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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