A letter for a stranger
I thought you were everything that I wanted.
To think that my soul spent three years bleeding for you. To think I put in every effort to see you smile, just for you to walk away. To drop me like shattered pieces of glass. Glass that reflected for you and you only. To think I would have given my soul away for us. I almost gave you a literal piece of me. I am now scarred by the memories plaguing my heart and mind. That play over in my head like a record on repeat. There was at one point I thought I could hold the skies on my shoulders with you at my side. Now they too plague me with sadness, knowing you were my galaxy, and watching it collapse. I gave you the best of me. I ran through hellish circles and walls made of ice to get to you, to prove to you against all odds my heart belonged to you. That I would always be there. To sooth your fears. To show you that your imperfections weren't actually imperfections at all, they were etches of pain inscribed in your soul that I showed you were still beautiful. I have so many questions I know will never be answered. I know within the crevices of my heart I'll never know why things have become this way between us, but I'll know it was never my fault. I'll know it was never my fault that you got lost, for you strayed away from the path I worked so hard to set. I feel forsaken from all light once more. Know that you yet again have made me lose myself in tiny fractals of time. I once again will wander alone and unprotected within the darkness of my own mind. I almost didn't pull through the last time and after you swore on our dead daughter that you'd stay by my side, here I find myself again. Just as easily my fire was lit by you, it was extinguished. Now only the embers of what once was burn through my subconsciousness. You've pulled every string out of place. You've cut every binding rope in my soul and left me to rebuild and repair by myself. No more.....no more will you continue to fill my blood with venom. No longer will you tangle my head with webs of darkness, I already have enough of my own. No longer will you break my heart into tiny shards. Never again shall you feel my warmth, these loving arms keeping you safe. No more will i battle your demons. And no longer will I catch your tears when you realize you're completely alone. From now on, I am but the whisper in every passing dream and the failing failsafe in every nightmare. I love you with every thread of my soul, but you will never have the chance to leave me like this again.