so when does the crazy take over?

I think more than I say
and walk down my own way

if I pay too much attention
I feel a crazy bubbling up
frustration that I don't matter
and people really do forget

... out of sight, out of mind
or if I act a little more shy

I'm tiny and silly and ditsy
who would fear a little girl
that still sleeps with stuffed animals
and sticks her tongue out at people?

my sisters and my mother
feel like an invisible devil on my shoulder

their crazy is in their blood
is it just their past or is it genes
am I separated from both?
because I can't fight

doing the crime
never seemed worth the time

sometimes I sit alone with my music
despising everyone around me
even though they're just like me
but I imagine a world with a purge

am I wise or am I afraid...
for a lack of violent decisions made?

I hate feeling weak
like anyone could overpower me
if they were so slightly inclined
and its true, I'm sure

but I'd like to know
before I actually need my crazy to show