Writing's a punny old game...

 
I once applied for a job as a joke writer
but I didn't get it.

I almost became a ghost writer
but I saw right through their offer.

A guy once asked me to write his autobiography
but I said it just isn't me.

I nearly became a paperback writer
but the market went soft.

I nearly became a writer of fiction
but I couldn't imagine myself doing it.

They asked me to write my autobiography
but I told them I need more information.