Video Girl

dear julie yaun


holding in emotions is like holding in a fart in the pool
knowing shit going to come
and gurgle as your life bubbles up the surface

watching yourself cry is the climax of depression
seeing your face red up swell and melt
in the mirror
makes choking on rope on the other side of flesh
taste the burn rub and snapping
if it doesn't
promise me you won't cry in the mirror
or when you decide it's time
dont send me the video
of the frail hand gripping ripping your nails to destroy the rope
wrapping your wrangle neck
i'll light a black candle
for your eyes
the dark black circles in circles in circles
that wrap your small face
seeing them role and the veins burst
lips purple puffy with the
swollen head full like
a bag of vomit
the perpetual thoughts burn your throat
as they ooze down
down deep into your heart causing stuck heartburn
the rope burns patterns of pinnacle pain
that soft neck
once left
with wet warm kisses
sucking
suckling
on soft skin
wet tongue flicks up and down your face
deaths licking back
on your toes as the chair tips
you grip rough flesh cold and damp
gripping the rope
there no hope
tugging please
there's no ease
no reconcile for the trouble you've caused
a life lost
please at what cost
a life that's
lost
a tape recorded
a life aborted
a child's life gone
a record recorded
wrong
please juile
don't send me the video
don't buy the rope
don't give in to hope
make your own dope
stop the hush smoke
left the christian
he promised he'll take the yoke
sell your own soul
no don't givin to hope
realize reality
cut the rope
the red string of heathen belief
leaving life's final