Clean Slates

 
In a world where nothing is promised, I would be a fool to rush time away
But 2015 has worn out its welcome with me
And while I appreciate all it has taught me
I have had my fill

This has been a year of question marks and periods
Fires extinguished and reignited
I have been betrayed and back stabbed
And learned that no one is really a liar in a land of smoke and mirrors
I have walked a fine line between self discovery and self destruction
I have lost myself and found who I used to be

Or at least who I wanted to be

I have made up my mind that I will drag nothing and no one with me across that threshold
Not a fear, not a single regret

At 11:30 I'm removing my nail polish and makeup
Letting my hair down
Taking off those too damn tight jeans and too high boots
Putting on sweats and a t shirt
Because next year I plan to be comfortable in my own skin
and appreciative of it in the process

At 11:45 I'm turning off the lights
And lighting a single candle
Because next year I must remember
that when no one else is around
and everything else falls away
I will still remain
I must remember to see
Me

At 11:55 I'm turning off my phone
Because as much as no one wants to be alone, no one wants to beg not to be
I've become too tolerant of "only when it's convenient" fair-weather friends and quite frankly, isolation is better than inconsistency
If there is somewhere else you'd rather be, by all means be there
I'll be just fine
Here

At midnight I plan to make the most of a blank canvas
with the same paint