deepundergroundpoetry.com
Delirium
It was inflicted and endured
In the most chilling of ways
In exchange for anonymity.
Feeling apprehensive,
Disorienting me,
Arms already lost to me.
Out of my depths, I had
Inhaled the moment when
The wave washes over me.
At the mercy in this pregnant
Darkness, determined to resist
And unable to.
Clawing at the arching sky,
A prisoner of my gag reflex.
A vertical expression of
A horizontal desire,
I wanted to go to the heart
Of suffering, to navigate
Deep within its undergrowth.
The search for clarity takes courage.
Gently sloping, a bay of
Exquisite symmetry;
those perfect curves.
Dancing among the whitecaps
I had the sensation I was
Swimming through moonlight.
I didn't just lose my modesty,
I lost my heart.
The low moon rode across
A cloud casting a net with
A slow-motion gesture.
So elegant, stretching like a goddess
The color of pale porcelain,
It was love at first sight.
Where nothing seemed to exist,
I was overcome by feelings of
Arrival when I surfaced.
More than an escape,
It was a way of going home.
Published 24th Dec 2015
| Edited 13th Nov 2017
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likes 8
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comments 11
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The author encourages honest critique.
24th Dec 2015 2:20pm
The structure here had the perfect combination of solid foundation with creative delirium. I loved your choice to leave only one line by itself, "the search for clarity takes courage" which to me is the heart and soul of the poem. The fifth and ninth stanzas were memorable for me and painted a unique picture (not the average images poets conjure by default-- there was some abstract concept images that required meditation.)
Your closing lines were lovely, ending the poem in a quiet, yet strong, moment.
Your closing lines were lovely, ending the poem in a quiet, yet strong, moment.
26th Dec 2015 5:26am
My boundless gratitude for your wonderfully insightful read which is as spot-on in its interpretation as I could hope for. You have had my attention, and respect, since the moment I read your first poetic offering.
24th Dec 2015 6:06pm
I didn't just lose my modesty,
I lost my heart.
The low moon rode across a cloud
casting a net with a slow-motion gesture,
so elegant, stretching like a goddess
the color of pale porcelain;
it was love at first sight,
where nothing seemed to exist, overcome
by feelings of arrival when I surfaced.
overcome by feelings of arrival when I surfaced... I really have nothing to add that could do anything but diminish. exquisite symmetry, yes, exactly...
26th Dec 2015 5:11am
Thank you, Geoff.
The simple brevity of your response to my piece diminishes nothing, nor would have anything you might have said.
The simple brevity of your response to my piece diminishes nothing, nor would have anything you might have said.
25th Dec 2015 1:48am
"I wanted to go to the heart of suffering,
to navigate deep within its undergrowth."
I know that place so well, I have visited often.
I really love your poetry, it's next level!
to navigate deep within its undergrowth."
I know that place so well, I have visited often.
I really love your poetry, it's next level!
26th Dec 2015 5:04am
25th Dec 2015 5:18pm
26th Dec 2015 9:51am
30th Dec 2015 9:11am
can feel the vertigo in this,
the unnavigable journey to the heart of suffering.
wondrous movements...
the unnavigable journey to the heart of suffering.
wondrous movements...
Thank you John, your description reflects back to me one who has also known what of I write.
6th Jan 2016 4:04am
This is a great poem , gave me a vivid picture , or more like a feeling. putting my self in your poem, as I read. Very next level. I enjoyed it! thank you .
