Strings Attached

 Today I am feeling magnanimous
Maybe it’s this festive season
Celebrating the birth of our Lord
The birth of the baby Jesus
Always leaves me feeling
That special warmth and joy
Feeling generous and benevolent
So much so;
I’m going to let you go
But I do have some conditions
As you are the first of many
That I am going to trust
To take from this week
Only the godly and positive

Now I know things will
For you, be different
I removed one of your eyes
But I believe you will see
Life with a new vision
You were blind to goodness
But now you will clearly see it
Sawing of your left hand
May have seemed cruel
But it was the devils hand
And you will still be able
To give and do good
With your godly right hand
Removing you genitalia
Was oh so princely
And think how from now
You will be able to resist
The temptations of the flesh
A man amongst men
Doing no ill will

Tonight before I let you go
I am going to remove one
Of your legs; I’ll let you choose;
It is better, for all concerned
That you can’t run from or to
Running is just sinful
Sin can be so attractive
I will need you to attend church
Every Sunday – no exceptions
I need you to help my work
You must steer others away
From a life of sin and evil
That will now be your mission
None of this is optional
I will see you on Sunday
In worship and praise
You won’t recognise me
Well not without the mask
But I will clearly see you
I hope I do not have to force
Your repentance and redemption
On any further occasion
Merry Christmas
And a sin free
New Year
Praise the Lord