deepundergroundpoetry.com
What Do I Want?
It has been a while since I asked myself
What do I want
Because I have been going on
Only wanting in the moment
Reacting to the world as it comes at me
And it showed, by asking this question
to myself
How dull my senses have become
How ignorant I have kept myself
How blind to my actions
That to consider with intent
What it is I want
Something that would benefit me
in a way that would allow for growth
That the feeling becomes frightening
Daunting
Even ugly
As if my personal Pandora was awoken
Sending chaos in my world that once
Seemed like order
When in fact, it was an organized chaos.
Giving myself the task of making a simple
Tangible want in my life
Suddenly made the fantasy go away
And that scares me.
What do I want
Because I have been going on
Only wanting in the moment
Reacting to the world as it comes at me
And it showed, by asking this question
to myself
How dull my senses have become
How ignorant I have kept myself
How blind to my actions
That to consider with intent
What it is I want
Something that would benefit me
in a way that would allow for growth
That the feeling becomes frightening
Daunting
Even ugly
As if my personal Pandora was awoken
Sending chaos in my world that once
Seemed like order
When in fact, it was an organized chaos.
Giving myself the task of making a simple
Tangible want in my life
Suddenly made the fantasy go away
And that scares me.
Published 18th Dec 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 1
comments 14
reads 753
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
18th Dec 2015 2:27am
I would like to thank you for this write because as I read each line I realize that I couldn't remember the last time I asked myself the same question. We usually spend so much time doing what is necessary and doing for others that much of the time we neglect ourselves. Enjoyed the read sir.
K2m
K2m
18th Dec 2015 3:06pm
Thank you K2M. I agree, its an important question to ask ourselves and be honorably selfish. Thank you for the read and comment.
18th Dec 2015 5:47am
A very honest and deep write. I love that about this one. Made me think about some thing. <3
18th Dec 2015 3:07pm
Thank you mysteriouslady. Always enjoy your presence. I hope those thoughts turn into things you want ;)
Anonymous
18th Dec 2015 10:43pm
Sir Play. . .it seems like you have come to a crossroads in your life when all along you've been wandering with blinders on. . .Now where to go from here remains the question, doesn't it?. . .And to be quite frank and honest, do not spend your days pondering what is not ponderable. . .You will know what you want when it is presented that the question you've asked or been asking yourself prior will just be but a faint and unmemorable dream; as if it never existed. . .Love to you. . .~Devlin.
19th Dec 2015 7:05pm
Queen Dev,
You are correct in what you say. Maybe I hit a wall, or maybe I see it approaching. Hoping that whatever I hit, it feels like a pillow. When you say "where to go from here", has been a repeating question in my life. I am not sure I ever really answered it with some satisfaction or even commitment. I move day to day hoping I did the right thing or am moving in the direction I think I want. I can at least hope that when the decision is made, I will be comfortable in it and know what to do from that point on. Thank you. Love you back. DPW.
You are correct in what you say. Maybe I hit a wall, or maybe I see it approaching. Hoping that whatever I hit, it feels like a pillow. When you say "where to go from here", has been a repeating question in my life. I am not sure I ever really answered it with some satisfaction or even commitment. I move day to day hoping I did the right thing or am moving in the direction I think I want. I can at least hope that when the decision is made, I will be comfortable in it and know what to do from that point on. Thank you. Love you back. DPW.
18th Dec 2015 11:22pm
19th Dec 2015 7:06pm
I gave up on wanting time
for me or anyone else.
It always slips through my fingers.
Its like a cat.
for me or anyone else.
It always slips through my fingers.
Its like a cat.
19th Dec 2015 3:06am
I really enjoyed this poem. The message really hits home. (Hey! That rhymed!) Anyways, I really liked it. :)
19th Dec 2015 7:06pm
24th Dec 2015 9:54am
You've opened up a lot of boxes, I should think. Pandora would be pleased. I can understand that daunting feeling, anything I ever seem to want seems to be damaging or warranted to end in misery. I hope you find what your looking for without looking back and thinking. "Well, actually, I want that."
28th Dec 2015 00:47am
14th Jan 2016 7:15pm
As if my personal Pandora was awoken
Sending chaos in my world that once
Seemed like order
When in fact, it was an organized chaos.
Giving myself the task of making a simple
Tangible want in my life
Suddenly made the fantasy go away
And that scares me.
Favorite lines! Like many my life (I tell myself ) is organized chaos. When the fantasy stops it's almost like we're high-fiving death! So keep asking yourself "what do I want"....if you figure it out and then change your mind it's ok, that just means you're alive! Great write. 😊
Sending chaos in my world that once
Seemed like order
When in fact, it was an organized chaos.
Giving myself the task of making a simple
Tangible want in my life
Suddenly made the fantasy go away
And that scares me.
Favorite lines! Like many my life (I tell myself ) is organized chaos. When the fantasy stops it's almost like we're high-fiving death! So keep asking yourself "what do I want"....if you figure it out and then change your mind it's ok, that just means you're alive! Great write. 😊
10th Mar 2016 3:21am
I Have read so many
(What I Want) as most
of them are erotique.
But this.. you gave me
different texture and am
wholely appreciative for.
Almost feel like..haaa..
about time.
-Howlings
(What I Want) as most
of them are erotique.
But this.. you gave me
different texture and am
wholely appreciative for.
Almost feel like..haaa..
about time.
-Howlings
