i just dont  know anymore

mind so damaged
can never get well
secrets inside never to tell
horror of memories
that now hang and rot
from the scars on my body
and the brain that now clots

my head swells like a worn out punch bag
body so used abused and old
feel so cold belong on a mortuary slab
with a tag on my toe
this is this body of jane doe

this life is so cold
obsolete
cant seem to meet the criteria
cant even complete
the simple tasks people ask
try not to run a while
each time someone shows concern
try to learn trust
and that I deserve more that a mouldy crust
of the ever baking break
that swelling inside my head

hate myself so much
hate that I hate
hate that I cant relate
to anyone !