deepundergroundpoetry.com
No debate
No debate
when the harvest of Sandy Hook is
no catalyst for change even
when the shredded mozzarella hearts
melt like the candle wax that fills
the green and yellow dixie cups held.
when empty school chairs in
common schools become
common place in the
sarcophagus of the mind;
when we tolerate the harvest
of cheeping souls and all that is left
are the shadows dancing in
underwater sunbeams.
Art and death mingle in the
translucent light of a parent's
everyday daydream.
Arms, grief stricken, holding
their vacuum cornucopia no more.
when the harvest of Sandy Hook is
no catalyst for change even
when the shredded mozzarella hearts
melt like the candle wax that fills
the green and yellow dixie cups held.
when empty school chairs in
common schools become
common place in the
sarcophagus of the mind;
when we tolerate the harvest
of cheeping souls and all that is left
are the shadows dancing in
underwater sunbeams.
Art and death mingle in the
translucent light of a parent's
everyday daydream.
Arms, grief stricken, holding
their vacuum cornucopia no more.
Published 5th Dec 2015
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The author encourages honest critique.
when empty school chairs in
common schools become
common place in the
sarcophagus of the mind;
Yes..this is poignant...an and awful.thing..imagine sending your child...to what is suposed to be the safest and most inocent place for a child....the harvest of these childrens cheeping souls..like young birds? Slight confused..
Other than..just great! So impressed by this..
common schools become
common place in the
sarcophagus of the mind;
Yes..this is poignant...an and awful.thing..imagine sending your child...to what is suposed to be the safest and most inocent place for a child....the harvest of these childrens cheeping souls..like young birds? Slight confused..
Other than..just great! So impressed by this..
Ty do much for the critique. that's what i need!!! :)
edit: this has caused me to think. i wanted to point out the view point of the attackers (cheapness of life) combined with the little children that were unjustly taken. I will replace the word cheep, with cheap.
ty so much!
edit: this has caused me to think. i wanted to point out the view point of the attackers (cheapness of life) combined with the little children that were unjustly taken. I will replace the word cheep, with cheap.
ty so much!
8th Dec 2015 6:35am
This read so easy and so perfect..i liked the tapering of words, its been a minute, but i think you cleaned house on this quite a bit..loved already...outstanding now!
Cheeping def Clears that up and gives life pulse to.what was lost. I love the arms reaching to holdup what is gone
...grips you by the balls!
Cheeping def Clears that up and gives life pulse to.what was lost. I love the arms reaching to holdup what is gone
...grips you by the balls!
8th Dec 2015 8:55am
TY, Jen. I really do appreciate the magnifying glass you bring. Thank you for the refining, which is by the way, one of my favorite parts of poetry.
