deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Silver Lining
The Count cannot contain his sorrow
Those scarlet tears, the weight of years
His harassment by Van Helsing
And, worst of all,
The local shortage of virgin blood
Renfield offers his lunatic reassurance
Bearing a brand new black velvet cape
"This should please you Master," he leers
"So don't be so morose
You've got to see the silver lining!"
"Spare me your platitudes!," his "master" seethes
Donning the cape, feeling the texture
And indeed the silver lining cunningly stitched
Liquefying the flesh from his bones
"Another fine mess," Renfield sighs
Mopping his "master" off the castle floor.
Those scarlet tears, the weight of years
His harassment by Van Helsing
And, worst of all,
The local shortage of virgin blood
Renfield offers his lunatic reassurance
Bearing a brand new black velvet cape
"This should please you Master," he leers
"So don't be so morose
You've got to see the silver lining!"
"Spare me your platitudes!," his "master" seethes
Donning the cape, feeling the texture
And indeed the silver lining cunningly stitched
Liquefying the flesh from his bones
"Another fine mess," Renfield sighs
Mopping his "master" off the castle floor.
Published 21st Nov 2015
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21st Nov 2015 5:37pm
Ha!"Another fine mess..." I love it T...
This was great. I love how you take an known idea and use Midrash...build these clever back stories...you are so entertaining here...and a giggle.
Love always
Jennifer
This was great. I love how you take an known idea and use Midrash...build these clever back stories...you are so entertaining here...and a giggle.
Love always
Jennifer
21st Nov 2015 6:11pm
I feel sorry for the poor old count. In this day and age, the repercussions far out weigh act. How will he adapt? A fun provocative piece Crow.
21st Nov 2015 10:29pm
Anonymous
21st Nov 2015 10:34pm
Ignorance is Bliss. . .to a Vampire when consorting to someone of his lesser fortune;. . .Maybe next time sir vampire will listen to his help;). . .Enjoyed!. . .xo, Devlin.
22nd Nov 2015 2:34am
22nd Nov 2015 4:01pm
Ironic ending Sir Crow guess the lunatic knew better ;)
excellent inking..
love Crim
excellent inking..
love Crim
24th Nov 2015 3:29am
Unholy cackles to that "silver lining".. I cannot help but have smirks of.. indeed & it figures!
This is is every inch a jewel of thought and as realistic as it damn well gets, T2! ..
"Liquefying the flesh from his bones"
~reminds this witch of water n ill effects of the times..eeks! chilling & effective.
" The local shortage of virgin blood"..
~if remembering correctly.. there is a sale on the recycled version of this, due to shortage??! lol. ;)
this is just plain funny & a favored line..
I am so fond of the way your mind weaves a simple phrase.. and then wraps that in a fancy bow..
very well done O'mighty Warlock of verse.. ;)
much luvins,
~T
This is is every inch a jewel of thought and as realistic as it damn well gets, T2! ..
"Liquefying the flesh from his bones"
~reminds this witch of water n ill effects of the times..eeks! chilling & effective.
" The local shortage of virgin blood"..
~if remembering correctly.. there is a sale on the recycled version of this, due to shortage??! lol. ;)
this is just plain funny & a favored line..
I am so fond of the way your mind weaves a simple phrase.. and then wraps that in a fancy bow..
very well done O'mighty Warlock of verse.. ;)
much luvins,
~T
24th Nov 2015 3:32am
27th Nov 2015 6:13pm
great structure, im new to poetry like im my first month of writing, must be a novel writer, and i dig your style, i need help on structure, any tips ? standard form? or method used thats similar to this write
27th Nov 2015 6:50pm
Thank you Hellbound. I'd say the most important thing is content, finding something that inspires you or ignites some passion. The structure can be applied using rhyme and rhythm but this can be a distraction, a gimmick if overused. If the reader becomes fixated on a clever rhyme scheme it can defeat the purpose, the point you're trying to make. A free form style is usually preferable as long as there's a flow to the syntax. Try reading your work aloud if only to yourself and pay attention to how it sounds. But, again, write about something that really stirs you and this will come through in your lines. And read as widely as possible on the site. Experiment with different styles and see what fits. I hope this helps. Thanks again for the comment Hellbound, and welcome to the site!
