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Image for the poem My Darkest Days

My Darkest Days

   
I don't like to remember those days  
trembling as I write this  
losing my faith on this wild ride  
drugs the keys to my locked soul  
   
demons broke in raping my being  
I reached with my mind to the furthest  
places in space I lay myself at God's footstool  
seeking peace from the voices I was hearing  
   
looking for solace from the visions I was seeing  
legion circling about me pushing in on me  
biting, scratching strangling my person  
I saw a vision of Lucifer and God as one being  
   
The God head turning it's back on me  
giving me over to Lucifer to be his wife  
told that there were fallen angels walking among us  
men and women with powers of persuasion    
   
feeling them so cruelly feasting from me  
making me lose my mind  
getting aggressive with my family members  
felt the power in the house escalating like I could explode  
   
the cops were called    
family terrified of me  
taken to the hospital for evaluation  
poison dripping in my veins  
   
hearing a alien language singing  
chained to the bed, four point restraints  
my demons struggling not liking to be tied down  
pissing on myself the guards too afraid to let me up  
   
if there was a portal to hell I had entered it  
at some point I blacked out  
to awaken in the psych ward  
sulfur blasting the patients as I walked by  
   
they could smell it remarking what is that odor  
the docs decided it was in my best interest    
to kick methadone a synthetic opium    
I thought my doctor Hitler the creator of this shackling drug  
   
I lost weeks of memory while there  
drugged enough to keep an elephant down  
still my body stayed animated  
fighting with the guards not remembering    
   
just to awaken with bruises up and down my arms  
the most intimidating of men were afraid of me  
as I paced my perimeter  
speaking a foreign language  
   
my demons casting black magic  
technology messing up while I was there  
getting locked up in the padded room  
not knowing my infraction  
   
my memory coming and going  
screaming at the walls I don't belong here  
no one came, no one listened  
was the most terrifying and painful time of my life  
   
I can't even begin to explain the visions I saw  
what I experienced I'm now on heavy meds  
still my demons rise to the surface  
I'm methadone free there's that  
   
if there is a light to the end of this tunnel  
I'm left with too many questions as to why me  
to embrace my faith again  
shortly after getting out of the hospital  
   
I stumbled upon du I don't even remember how  
for now I write my experiences it seems to  
keep my demons from hurting me  
I've stayed out of the psych ward  
   
for the moment I'm safe  
grateful not to be suffocating  
on the disinfectant of my plastic bed  
i'm thankful my mind is working  
   
I hate my meds but whatever they are  
wards, talisman they seem to keep things  
at the gate to say the least  
my darkest days behind me  
 
   
(for Grace's Dwelling In the Dark Places Comp.)
Written by crimsin (Unveiling)
Published
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