deepundergroundpoetry.com
Her Ambience
I am craving this woman's caress
like oxygen needed in the lungs
or the strings for the dulcet tones
on the guitar calming the ears
leaves the most strident call
unabated
A mystery of the kindest kind
I am encouraged by her suggestion
that we can be more
then an economic relationship
puzzled by her tendency to find
comfort in a machine rather
then humans
and then illogically hurt
in seeing her on the lap of another
featuring the outfit of my
greatest weakness
my hope is that our potential
still crosses her mind
for she is my unforgettable fire
like oxygen needed in the lungs
or the strings for the dulcet tones
on the guitar calming the ears
leaves the most strident call
unabated
A mystery of the kindest kind
I am encouraged by her suggestion
that we can be more
then an economic relationship
puzzled by her tendency to find
comfort in a machine rather
then humans
and then illogically hurt
in seeing her on the lap of another
featuring the outfit of my
greatest weakness
my hope is that our potential
still crosses her mind
for she is my unforgettable fire
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likes 5
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comments 14
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Her Ambience
14th Nov 2015 8:17am
Re: Re. Her Ambience
15th Nov 2015 1:36am
Thanks. There are times when it seems like emotion is all I have. Logic falls by the wayside.
Re. Her Ambience
14th Nov 2015 9:08pm
the attraction to one and then the hurt of seeing them with another is very relatable, loved the optimistic ending...
1
Re: Re. Her Ambience
15th Nov 2015 1:39am
Thanks buddy. I could use that last line in so many compositions but then U2 might try to sue me!
Re. Her Ambience
nice job here Jazz-man
..jaysus, personally after seeing her on the lap of another dressed liked that I'd be moving the fk on
anyhow, I like what you did here, the lines, the honesty, stanzas
fair play
ahh, Unforgettable fire, used to have the album
..jaysus, personally after seeing her on the lap of another dressed liked that I'd be moving the fk on
anyhow, I like what you did here, the lines, the honesty, stanzas
fair play
ahh, Unforgettable fire, used to have the album
1
Re: Re. Her Ambience
Thanks for the read. She is still unforgettable but now my brain isn't absent as much in any exchange.
That album is my only U2 release on vinyl. (All the others are CDs)
That album is my only U2 release on vinyl. (All the others are CDs)
Re. Her Ambience
....beautiful longing? Yearning for a woman you desire, but..... she's not available, maybe? Oh well, hell, it was stunning just the same....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I am craving this woman's caress
like oxygen needed in the lungs
or the strings for the dulcet tones
on the guitar calming the ears
leaves the most strident call
unabated "
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Damn! Breathtaking (pun intended)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I am craving this woman's caress
like oxygen needed in the lungs
or the strings for the dulcet tones
on the guitar calming the ears
leaves the most strident call
unabated "
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Damn! Breathtaking (pun intended)
1
Re: Re. Her Ambience
17th Nov 2015 1:39am
I was reminded just a bit of undergrad days writing this. The dorm had a room just off of the dining commons that had a ping pong table and a piano. There were many moments spent banging away at the keys after finding out that a coed I was into didn't feel the same.
Re. Her Ambience
17th Nov 2015 6:20pm
ship captains had to strap themselves to the mast to survive these encounters
1
Re: Re. Her Ambience
18th Nov 2015 1:30am
Re. Her Ambience
24th Dec 2015 3:06am
Sensuality and sophistication-- yet with a primal thrust of meter and rhyme, an appealing combination. Loved this one. Thanks for sharing.
1
Re: Re. Her Ambience
24th Dec 2015 4:38am
Hey if my frustrations can always have such an affirmative response I can have a smidgen of solace.
Re. Her Ambience
5th Jan 2016 2:12pm
I can feel you need, desire
and for her. There was no
escaping the sighs which
left me while reading.
It's amazing you transliterated
your pining to share with us,
the end felt as if the tightening
in your chest and stomach was
released, but only for a little
while.
Wow, maybe I just got too immersed..
but that me lol.
Beautiful is her ambience JazzManor.
-Howlings
and for her. There was no
escaping the sighs which
left me while reading.
It's amazing you transliterated
your pining to share with us,
the end felt as if the tightening
in your chest and stomach was
released, but only for a little
while.
Wow, maybe I just got too immersed..
but that me lol.
Beautiful is her ambience JazzManor.
-Howlings
1
Re: Re. Her Ambience
5th Jan 2016 2:32pm
The feeling in my chest and stomach was very close to what you described!
Thank you for the insightful comment.
Thank you for the insightful comment.