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Meaningless Expression

I really thought you were special
Just how much you'll never know
I tried to show you on that night
But you didn't take it in and so
Maybe you wanted more somehow
I guess that's how you let it go
But I don't have much else to give
All I'm made of is heart and soul
Not sure why I thought you'd care
I think I thought you wanted to see
Think I believed you'd be here, not there
If you knew just what you meant to me
Turns out it doesn't work like that
And that it was never the case
Made no difference, had no impact
I'm paying hard for these mistakes
To know that my emotions were nothing
When I thought they'd count for something
But you charge more than I've got
Expensive lesson, I've been taught
Because I always yearned to express
The feelings living in my chest
So when I finally got the yes
I thought you'd feel secure to invest
But you didn't even value them
I'm not even sure you smiled
Yet we planned a second round of them
And you forgot, it slipped your mind
If I were in your situation
I'd have been floored to know the truth
To feel that strong reciprocation
And to know you felt it too
Riding high on elation
Ready and willing to work through
Feeling incredibly amazing
Knowing you had me how I had you

But that's the difference isn't it?
You weren't looking for reassurance
You were slowly starting to drift
Didn't want connection to flourish
Seems I spent all my hope
Only to get change
I really wish I would have known
That it was just a curiosity game
If I knew interest was for wrong reasons
I wouldn't have wasted my time
There would have been nothing to believe in
Could have spared this heart of mine

And I couldn't have brought you back
You were already too far gone
Truth reflects in facing facts
You just didn't feel it strong
I didn't have what you were looking for
I know exactly what went on
In spite of what words claim
Actions are never wrong
Heart laid out in display cases
Which you never went back to touch
If you felt so unappreciated
Why did you leave them in the dust?
Because you didn't want to feel it
Or accept that it was real cuz
You didn't know how to say
You no longer wanted me that way
I risked much of what I had
For a chance at life with you
For me you wouldn't have done that
It's just not in your nature to
Couldn't let yourself get close
Or really try for deep connection
I gave warmth to get left cold
Me and my meaningless expressions
Written by WoundedHeart
Published
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