pulmonary edema

There was water there.
It wasn't like pretty crystal,chlorine clear or even that baby before it's even born nursery color.
Brown, bad stuff has lived here for a long time and always will, four tubes of nescafe instant in the mouth without a sip of liquid sludge. It looks like the substances I should be coughing up every morning. If I could get the dirt out. The toxic, late night infomercial, elevator jazz, maple syrup I been breathing hoping one of those molecules to be the one that ends the rest. There's always an old mexican dude playing some ominous little Spanish tune in my head while tumbleweeds and worthless dust blow across these empty streets.

Fucking dust.
Just reminds you things are dead, getting close to dead or even worse just plain obsolete.
Need to change the sheets.
Get some shit to wipe all them ashes with different destinations than I had planned for em off the coffee table.

I finally woke up and she wasn't there.
or rather
I woke up and she finally wasn't there.

One time in late November up on Lake Ontario in Oswego, N.Y. we were hopskotching the huge floating ice chunks banging around the breaker. I was really drunk and I remember asking myself if you slipped down between two of them, how bad would you be crushed? and would I really go in after you? and if I did would I really even try to get either of us out? This probably would have made a great choose your own adventure nintendo 64 type game concept back then and I'm sure a bunch of teenagers who hadn't really touched boobs yet would have had their parents buy it for them and we'd both be financially stable forever now. But neither of us fell so I felt it best to not even mention it and we don't even speak let alone play like that anymore.
Written by johnrot
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