Betrayal

On the other side of the bed
You lie unruffled and smooth  
Breathing just hard enough
To convince me you’re not really asleep
Just waiting…
Listening to my twists and turns
My audible, muffled sobs.
I have to remember
It’s just sex
It’s just an act
Store shop phonies,
With hard, plastic impulses
That mean so little, really;
And I have done an act or two
More times than I will ever admit
I have done an act or two
With your cousin
Your brother in law
And all your surmised treacheries
Are horrifying truths,
It’s true.  At least
It used to be.  
So why do I squirm and ache
At one confession of yours
That nary skims the foam
Of my own dirty cup