for amanda

a short list of things you said to me freshman year
“Jesus, don’t be such a
baby, stop crying,
please stop, you know I hate when you do this.
oh baby, I didn’t mean it like that”
“You know, sometimes I pretend that he’s you”
“I like being the only person who knows you like this”
“Get in the fucking shower Elise”
“You piece of shit”
“I love you, I love you, I do, I swear to God”
“It felt better with her”
“This is just what best friends do”
“Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, please,
I know you want to”
“I bet you dream about it”
“Why can’t I have both?”
“Jesus, are you flirting with me?”
“You psychotic bitch”
“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had”
“Goodnight, sleepyhead”
“It wasn’t branches”
“I was just drunk,
It didn’t mean anything”
“Have you written about me?”
“I love you so fucking much, Elise
what will it take to convince you?”
“I thought we buried that”
“Can you tuck me in?”
“You don’t like me, do you?”
“Take off your shirt”
“You’re so beautiful”
“Sign it with blood”
“You’re so cruel”
“I’ll walk you home”
“What are you gonna do, fuck him?
Yeah, I bet you’ll even pretend to like it”
“I always wanted someone to do that”
“Fuck you”
“You’re so blurry and pretty right now,
come here”
“That feels, like, really good”
“Your name is healing on my thigh lol”
“I thought we were over this”
“You sad, sad girl”
“I love you too, I always have, come on,
you know that, ”