7 3 7

I’ve never really written about anything but sex, until now

I was trained to believe my best assets were supported by lane Bryant bra’s
And got a little bit wetter when I placed an arch in my back.

So many kisses ran wet across my face,
one size fit all was the motto because it seemed that everyone’s hands fit perfectly around my waist
As I begged him or her to call my name

And then I met you.

I mean, I ain’t got no type, but I knew this would be more than us celebrating our one night anniversary.
You were frat, and 3 hours away, so I could only offer you light conversation and the opportunity to thirst for me.
Surprisingly that was enough to make you stay,

So I spent nights on your computer screen, and with your inbox I shared my days. Phone calls after stroll practice, snapchats before class,

I was a changing woman because for the first time I shared my past
“If you fuckin with me, you gotta accept the good, the bad, and the ugly. Cuz I ain’t shit”- Gates
And you took all of that in, knowing you would still be 300 miles away
Taking heed to every word that I would say, so one night I whispered “I’ve never received a flower”
A beautiful bouquet arrived the next day

Attached was a card strong enough to bare words most men would be to afraid to say to a chick like me
“I love you, and I want you to officially be my bae. No games, no gimmicks, just my Queen and I… Call me when you get these, Jen. P.S Wipe them tears from your eyes”
You knew they called me big baby for a reason.

Week one was all good, I bragged and boasted. Went out with my girls and to my new found love we toasted.
Posted intimate selfies of you and I to every page that I use to socialize
And week two , I woke up to a kiss and Waffle House, Your smile in person was the sweetest surprise.
Week three was spent together, ducked off in my honeycomb hideout.
We made love, we made music, I recited poetry in your ear as we made love, to our music…
Slow jukin, sweet kissin, pancake flipping, fairytale romance

And then you returned back home, your side of the bed grew cold
Fast forward to month two, week 3
I began to work more, and conversations became a bore
You’re complaining about my hours, but I can’t expect to the pay the bills with yours

Somewhere between the 7am “good morning beautiful” and  the 10pm“wyd bae”text
Them demons slipped back in, and with open arms, thighs, and mind
I made them comfortable

I’m Skyping you, attempting to hide the traces of her lipstick, that hottest shower just can’t seem to rinse away
And your telling me how I’m glowing, as I lie there pretending that it’s you making me feel this way.

A revolving door, of his & hers sweat began to stain my sheets
He’s deepstroking me on your side of the bed, 20 minutes after I’ve went off and given you a speech about how I need my sleep
At peace with our situation, you never questioned why midconversation I would weep.
I know you deserve nothing but the best, but im allowing you to settle for me.
I know I’m selfish

So I went to church, prayed for forgiveness, told my friends I was gonna do right
But before we left the chapel, HE hit me up like “What you on tonight”
I love the thought of heaven, but I’m convinced that Jesus has two left feet.
This dance with devil is joyous, fulfilling, and orgasmic.
And I’m really not feeling Jesus two stepping, to the beat,
God I don’t need you right now
I’m comfortable, right here you see.

So that night I picked an argument, accusing you of all my indiscretions knowing you would chalk it up to my trust issues
And not my twisted infatuation with this revolving door of desire Satan just loves to place in front of me.

A few hours later I got mine, called you the next morning and apologized
Monopolized on your insecurities, collected $200, hopped in that silver car hit the boardwalk, followed by my sidepieces
I park
Place.
Repeat
To Park Place Estates, Yes I creeped, I crept
Ignoring the vibrations of my cellphone, and the call from “Chink” flashing across my screen
I continued to creep, I crept.
And by the time I hit your line, flat… Not a single beep,FLAT, not a single breath,FLAT, not a single response was received.
By neither the ER staff, nor me.
I sat stewing in his cum, as you laid drowning in your blood…
On your way to surprise me.
You laid FLAT Lined, on the road side
And Your, love, your queen. Your forever and a day, your worst nightmare disguised as your dream
I sat outside his house, head to the steering wheel
Sex scented breast muffling my screams
I’ve never really written about anything but sex, until now

I’ve never really written about anything but sex, until now

I was trained to believe my best assets were supported by lane Bryant bra’s
And got a little bit wetter when I placed an arch in my back.

So many kisses ran wet across my face,
one size fit all was the motto because it seemed that everyone’s hands fit perfectly around my waist
As I begged him or her to call my name

And then I met you…