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Funny to Me

 
lyrics from “The Shadow of Your Smile” from the 1965 film The Sandpiper

I guess it just seemed funny to me
when I huddled in the corner I was
too many different ages to remember
too many voices to remember

and one would sing out above the others
what will this do to the rest of my life

all I know is I met a boy
at the grocery a week ago
I am burying him today
along with all the other bodies and dreams
in my soul’s graveyard

because it is always like this
a child of six in a forty year-old woman

and little boys can sense it in little girls
(my little hands grabbing at their shirt buttons)
and it’s only human nature
to flee the needy
and leave
them

alone

how I wish I could describe it to them
how fiercely I need to
so much music inside me
soft rage of yearning
broken dishes
constant burning behind my eyes

my daddy’s velvet voice as he strummed the guitar

The shadow of your smile /
When you are gone /
Will color all my dreams /
And light the dawn /


and I say to all the boys

oh love me like my daddy didn’t
please be my daddy
please hold me
pay attention to me
fill this emptiness that defines me
that can never be filled again


because daddy
the day you left          
all the days you left
something was erased
something grew transparent

and every boy has inside him your ghost
but there is no way to cross the river
between the living and the dead anymore

even the ferryman looks like
your fragile, precious bones

and I hear the crooning of those words forever

Now when I remember spring /
All the joy that love can bring /
I will be remembering /
The shadow of your smile /


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdtcItLjPPU

Written by toniscales (Lost Girl)
Published
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