deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Tic-Tacs have lost thier flavor
Days… of instability
Red sky,
with blue rimed
metal clouds rain fire,
In my head.
Self-forgotten in a haze….
....…….. OF…...........
Emeralds & diamond bottles,
a bleak effervescent river flows,
pouring clear ‘n’ black liquids
Through the kaleidoscope of colors,
into the…EMPTY….veins of life.
Small neat rows of crystal sands,
fill my head with demonic delusions
throw their eyes I see clearly.
Floating on clouds of blood
the smell permeates my skin sending,
waves of electricity over my body
as they pump their poison into my veins.
To kill the monster that lives within me,
Tic-Tacs have lost their strength, all that remains
Pain.
Red sky,
with blue rimed
metal clouds rain fire,
In my head.
Self-forgotten in a haze….
....…….. OF…...........
Emeralds & diamond bottles,
a bleak effervescent river flows,
pouring clear ‘n’ black liquids
Through the kaleidoscope of colors,
into the…EMPTY….veins of life.
Small neat rows of crystal sands,
fill my head with demonic delusions
throw their eyes I see clearly.
Floating on clouds of blood
the smell permeates my skin sending,
waves of electricity over my body
as they pump their poison into my veins.
To kill the monster that lives within me,
Tic-Tacs have lost their strength, all that remains
Pain.
Published 11th Oct 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 0
comments 9
reads 872
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
11th Oct 2015 2:37pm
DP an beautiful image filled write..
love these lines..
"Emeralds & diamond bottles,
a bleak effervescent river flows,
pouring clear ‘n’ black liquids
Through the kaleidoscope of colors,
into the…EMPTY….veins of life."
not to detract from the painful ending..
I feel you love Crim
love these lines..
"Emeralds & diamond bottles,
a bleak effervescent river flows,
pouring clear ‘n’ black liquids
Through the kaleidoscope of colors,
into the…EMPTY….veins of life."
not to detract from the painful ending..
I feel you love Crim
11th Oct 2015 3:34pm
You have conveyed so many
vivid images in this write. This is a rather witty way to portray the struggle we have with our inner demons. I hope that in the end there is relief to the pain. I hope to not be too far off base with this comment.
Keith
vivid images in this write. This is a rather witty way to portray the struggle we have with our inner demons. I hope that in the end there is relief to the pain. I hope to not be too far off base with this comment.
Keith
11th Oct 2015 5:32pm
The intensity of imagery suggests that although the tic-tacs lost their flavor, they are still quite potent in psychedelic ways... too bad they can't kill the pain!
11th Oct 2015 8:37pm
12th Oct 2015 7:48am
Wow what imagery. Your words suggest a scene equivalent to what a master painter might draw but then later words point to something more bleak. Excellent contrast.
13th Oct 2015 10:39am
15th Oct 2015 4:24am
“Floating on clouds of blood
the smell permeates my skin sending,
waves of electricity over my body
as they pump their poison into my veins.
To kill the monster that lives within me,
Tic-Tacs have lost their strength, all that remains” <--this pretty much summed up how most of us battle internal wars.
Strong performance of your pen Devil. Always impressed by you….
the smell permeates my skin sending,
waves of electricity over my body
as they pump their poison into my veins.
To kill the monster that lives within me,
Tic-Tacs have lost their strength, all that remains” <--this pretty much summed up how most of us battle internal wars.
Strong performance of your pen Devil. Always impressed by you….
15th Oct 2015 9:36pm
The description and imagery is astonishing. Also, the message and I so often can relate. Great job!
9th Nov 2015 3:45am
Inner struggle to define all around and inside clashing with what already lays hidden great piece
