I Can't Get The Lighter To Work

"All I see is shades of pain" is probably one of the deepest things I've heard.
I feel ya ......all to well

For once... I just want to not feel used...

I must say that with a mind as insightful and acutely aware as you have, you'd have to be an empathic. You're pain is channeled but not conquered. You CAN beat the darkness that plagues you. You CAN find light and love. I challenge you go amongst the trees barefoot and consider the majesty of our mother and her absolute power. Her love will rise up through your feet and into your soul, and there....write your next piece. Will you do this?

I would... If I lived near woods :(

 a city park, an open field, anything. It'll help.

I really like the simple straight forward, undramatic tone of this. Like you're just stating the fucking facts. Gives it more impact than a more 'impassioned' mellow dramatic poem has. And the title is brilliant!

Thank you.

I'm hoping this is not about me please don't die

No...

It's not supposed to work that way. Poetry is emotional autopsy but all the souvenirs we brand just fuse those tragedies to us. Re-write your path, don't be use-able to abusers.