I'd Rather Die
Did you see my tear fall?
My heart fell with it
Every word, every thought, dissolved into the sand
Every thought that I had
Every dream disappeared, right before my eyes
For an instant I believed that you loved me.
I thought for a moment that you were going to be my last triumph
I thought that my previous heartbreak was going to be my last.
I would have bet my last that my tears would never fall again.
That you would carry me far beyond the stars.
Dance with me in my dreams
Create life with me, mode new beginnings into marvelous things
Produce something amazing…something even I could have never imagined.
You see me as a pawn in your game.
A game that you have played each and every day of your life.
I was supposed to be loved.
I am meant to be loved
I am meant to be respected.
Why can you not respect me?
Are you really that broken?
I have asked myself time and time again…why?
Why do I have to repeat the same mistakes over and over again?
Why do I have to keep running into you?
Just to have my heart broken time and time again?
Haven’t you gotten tired of all of my crying?
Are you ready to cut out my heart and post it on a stake?
Let it sun dry and burn it in the pit.
I would rather you kill me than to torment me this way.
To die a heartless heartbreak and to wonder the world without any peace.
I do not want to live this way.
I do not want to continue to bath in this heartache.
I am too scared to take my own life.
To leap into the air, while knowing that there is nothing soft to land on.
To run into silence while knowing that there is no noise to catch my thoughts.
When you see me all you see is what you want to see.
Yet you cannot feel my touch.
There is no warmth coming from your eyes.
There is just death…
Is that what you wish of me?
Would you rather for me to die before your eyes?
Would me decomposing right before your eyes please you more than seeing me smile?
I have grown weak.
I am broken by your ignorance.
My prayers are not being welcomed.
I am so tired…
I love you so much…
You do not see what all of this is doing to me.
I am graveling at your feet.
Tearing at your legs as you pull away from me.
Tears of sorrow soaking the earth beneath me as my heart breaks right in front of me.
Take me with you…
Tare out my eyes...and a cut out my tongue.
I promise I will not hate you
Just promise that you will keep me
My heart cannot take this.
I am not strong enough for this.
Why can’t you see that I would rather die then to watch you…walk away from me.