The Day I Gave Up On Love

Those words written on the
forum, to help, to heal.
They stab my heart, over and over
draining the life giving blood.
Who gives a shit?
I left.

Too much to handle for even me,
so of course, how could you?
My brain does not synchronize 
with my heart or my hands.
I slice, deeper and deeper;
this is all I have left,
all I have to lean on.
Too much to handle.

Day in and day out I wait,
silently sitting on my bed
for my knight in shining armor
to save me. I wait for
someone who understands me,
doesn't try to fix or
make me something I'm not.
But, he doesn't exist.
Divorced. Separated. Gone.

You can think I will kill you,
you can leave if you want.
My heart is hardened,
protective against the world who
just doesn't understand who I am,
what I have.
I have given up, my emotions are long gone.
Leave. Go live a normal life because today,
I have given up on love.