Date Two Falls Through; Turns Impromptu

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Sunday was a bust.

I had spent the weekend with my family in Indiana, which I had planned on doing since before I met Him. Plans changed, ever so slightly, when He came along.

"When are you coming back?" he asked.

"Sunday"

"I'll see you Sunday, then..."

What should have been a day spent present with my family, was spent physically present and mentally on the future. I counted backwards on my fingers, accounting losing an hour when crossing the Indiana-Illinois border and giving myself enough time to drive home, get in a quick swim, and hopefully meet him at the pool with enough time to get dressed and find a nice spot to enjoy the Supermoon/Eclipse. Yet, all day I didn't hear from him.

"I'm omw home from Indiana,"
I caved, initiating contact with a text around 4:30 p.m. EST/3:30 CST -- With two and a half hours to drive, I'd get to the pool around 6 p.m., considerably earlier than I originally expected, but I was eager to see him. And that just meant more time to spend with him until my "Responsible Adult Curfew."

I drove. Audio book playing on my phone, propped up by my handsfree cradle so I could check for texts or easily answer a call. My eyes flickered every twenty miles or so, hoping to see that silly little unopened envelope in my notification bar.

Nothing.

"Hey, I'm here at the gym, bout to swim some laps. Hopefully I'll hear from you by the time I'm done, otherwise I'm gonna head home."
I left a message, doing my best to sound casual and unaffected by the fact that he'd failed to connect with me since Thursday...and here was the day we were supposed to hang out (no innuendo intended).

I tried not being angry. If anything, it was motivation to get to the gym and swim my laps... I reasoned, having missed my 2-3x a day swim for the past two days.

But there was his uncle at the pool, grinning that goofy, yet somehow charismatic grin that must be genetic.

"Where is He?" I asked casually (using his name, of course, instead of "He")

"Working tonight," replied goofy-grinning uncle.

Part of me was relieved he wasn't outright blowing me off...but...he could have called or text me to let me know he had to work, before he had to work, right? Is that common sense or just me being demanding and expecting too much?

So, the night was a bummer. But, it really worked out in the end. I was home at a reasonable hour, instead of being tempted to hang out late with him.

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1:58 am - Monday morning: "man i just got back froom work im sorry i couldnt answer you know how that goes...good night"
(word for word, letter for letter, I take no responsibility for the lack of capitalization, grammar and spell check)

Re: "Oh well. Wish I had known you had to work, I would have stayed with my family longer."
My codependent annoyance falls on deaf ears.

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8:16 pm - Monday evening: "wyd"
My codependent need kicks in, and even though it's a Monday night, I've had a long weekend, I've got to be up in the morning. It's 2 hours to my "Responsible Adult Curfew," and yet I respond and arrange to pick him up.

We drive around, taking the edges off the evening, fraying them and blurring boundaries, once again. Distancing ourselves from our true selves, but revealing the only selves we know of one another.

And somehow we end up in Chinatown.

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There's something about showing someone something new, that makes me feel alive and exciting. Like, somehow I'm amazing because I've done something that someone else hasn't, and now I can open their eyes to a new experience. And, though Chinatown is not even a mile away from our neighborhood, he's rarely been there and has never had bubble tea.

But it's Monday night, just past 10 and what establishments are usually open late on the weekends, are closing at a reasonable hour [perhaps they've got some sense, even where I don't]. But, luckily, one place was still open and we were able to get our bubble tea to go. He tried mine and I tried his and I laughed at his expression when the little tapioca boba hit the back of his throat, [to him] unexpectedly. It's so fun to watch someone try their first bubble tea.

And I love the bond and intimacy that comes with sharing food (in this case, drinks). Split & share is like a per-requisite for dating material, and a definite bonus for friendship material.

So, we strode around Chinatown Square, me sipping an almost-too-sweet milk tea, he a mocha smoothie; we came upon the circle of plinths donning interesting statues of the Chinese Zodiac animals, each with a plaque explaining the common personality traits of those born in each year.

His was a Ram, mine a Rat.

The funniest thing is...just moments before we were laughing about his fear of rats.

"You should be afraid of me," I joked-but-not-really.

Rat: "Born in 1912, 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008
Usually considered aggressive, ambitious, suspicious, power-hungry, honest, generous, quick to anger and prone to spend freely. Those born under the sign of Rat are imaginative, charming, and truly generous to the one they love. However, they have a tendency to be hot-tempered and overly critical. They are usually suitable for sales work or work as a writer, critic, or publicist. Rats will get well along with Dragons and Monkeys," read the sign below an acrobatic looking rat.

We laughed as I underlined each trait that was clearly me and made our way counter clockwise to visit some of the compatible pairs.

Dragon. Then to his, the Ram.

Ram:"Born in 1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991 (am I a cradle robber?), 2003, 2015
The sign suggests a person who is sensitive, creative, artistic, passionate, elegant, warmhearted, honest, charming but pessimistic, timid, disorganized and vulnerable. Too dependent on material comforts, they are easy to complain and do not respond well to pressure, but will find their own natural solution to a problem when given space. Best occupation for a Sheep is an actor or a gardener. They are compatible with Rabbits or Pigs.
(unfortunately, this is not really even close to the description on the plaque, and everywhere I'm finding it's called the year of the sheep though the plaque in Chinatown said ram."

His fingers followed along to some of the traits he possesses, though he omitted sensitive - which I thought was either him being humble or perhaps I'm just projecting what qualities I hope he has.

Either way, it seemed the intelligence, inventiveness, and cleverness of the Monkey suited me better than any qualities of the Ram. And when we read it, he sort of let out a disappointed sound, muttering aloud "Man, why can't I be a monkey?" Sort of echoing a deep-seeded thought that I'd chosen to smother in the back of my mind.

An interesting thing was that the compatible matches for me also described me rather well, with some deviations. And the sad thing was that the qualities of the Ram, though admirable, weren't necessarily the things that would draw me to a person. And the things that I feel draw me to people, aren't necessarily qualities he possesses.

And yet...I'm drawn to him.

I've been disappointed by him twice (once when he was late, the second when he didn't show up or communicate at all)...and also really taken up in two rather romantic experiences with him. Because, even though the plaques pointed toward "Incompatible," do I really believe in that stuff anyway?

Perhaps not the zodiac, but the trait incompatibilities, yes. Yes I do.

But I'm jumping ahead of myself. I've known the guy less than a week. And I've made clear that I'm interested in developing a friendship before any other options are even considered. I'm not ready to date. I'm looking to develop a friendship with him.

And if it naturally progresses to dating, so be it. But I'm committing to having a friend first and waiting until I'm ready.

Now help me hold myself to it, will ya?

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Part 1: http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/216837-a-slip/