Hate and Prayer

Sitting legs crossed. Head in my hands.
I THINK and I PRAY.
Chilled winds swirl 'round. Gaze wanders far.

Mind closes in.
My HATE percolates.

Legs unfold. Gaze stares to the ground.
Hands raise to the sky and I CRUMBLE inside.
I scream,
              "WHY THE FUCK AM I HERE?!"
              "GOD.....ARE YOU NEAR?!"

Rain's now pouring hard from devious clouds.
Mouth opens wide as I think to myself,
               "If I open my mouth perhaps I can DROWN."  
Tears come CRASHING down.
They shatter like glass on MISERABLE ground.

Lightning strikes fire across the horizon.
A deafening SILENCE thunders my core.

"DO AS THY WILL, for I am not WEAK!"

God's lesson I've not learned yet.
It's not my time to go home.