The sounds of silence

Wake at midnight outta bed like it's morning
Feel alive my clock all fucked off
Just as my happiness dwindles
Like the clouds overcome the sun
Running this race nobody has ever won
I'm over this shit I think I'm finally  fucking done
Trying to untangle myself
I'm failing miserably sober
But definately not clean in my recovery
Somehow without drugs I lose my humanity
A flattening of feeling shcitzo
Or dead inside
I really can't tell I just know
I'm neither happy nor sad
I do not feel good or bad
I don't miss the chaos of the life I had
I wouldn't mind I suppose
If I left this fleshly building
I guess if death is what I was willing
But I just want zippers installed
So we could experience something
Differant you jump outta you into me
For a day or three
I hope your smart cause you'd have to be to understand the last part
Time stands still I stand alone
No I don't want that pill
I hate crickets in nature
And the sound of silence is deafening
But your voice in thoughts soothes
Like salve for my tortured soul
But your sweet whispers are gone
Replaced by echoes of repeated
Negativity  and the loss of hope
God I'm sorry I miss dope...