I was fifteen,  
and for the first time  
I saw that face over the fence
my sister was playing with her and her friends
those dark blue crystal eyes just mesmerized me

I stole that rusty doll
millions of questions,  
my conscience questioned me..
I doubted myself
what am I?
I can't tell the boys that I like a doll
but it wasn't sexual at all, at first...
it was a depressive call
I never believed in any supernatural acts
but those eyes, throwing hooks to catch my soul
grip my gaze to hers
then she pull it and invite to her realm
in there I saw her, for what she really was
she was my dream, my fantasy all merged to one
she took my hand and showed me a glimpse  
of the world inside, it was something else

she took me on a path where
the rainbows are in the shades of grey
she taught me how to enjoy pain,
see the sweetness in a grief
in solitude I found salvation
it was our congregation

her eyes were the door to my salvation
from frustration of the world of my reality

I started to draw the things I saw inside her mind
but in the real world,  
they were disturbing and all sort of evil
but then suddenly..
I didn’t need the eyes to disappear
deep desires of my soul had sowed
seeds in the depth of her
my sudden laughs and gloomy emotions,  
were noticeable in the real world
how do I explain as a young man
that I live in a fantasy with a doll?
my friends called me a weirdo;  
my taste of music became hers
my family started to notice  
the changes in my behaviors
she showed me how to  write dark poems
she taught me how to draw demons
she whispered names in my ears  
she said she want their souls
till I bring those to her  
her voice echoed in my head
making me insane in the brain
the news said five missing girls found dead
age from eight to twelve
my sense knew it
that I had something to do with it
It wasn’t a she,  
it was a form of incubus sealed in it
he lured me in and, I'd broken the seal
and it had become my curse
I thought I discovered a world  
just for my self
and clearly he'd played me  
with that seductive voice
I am inside the doll again...
I am front of my sister's dressing table
I am staring at my eyes starring back at me
with that familiar grin
my sister had found her lost doll.  
I can hear she stroking my hair
my body sitting next to her
you filthy bastard….
Please…. Don't....
not her

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