deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sister missile
Treat well
those deep and grievous wounds....
She strode alongside devils backbone,
dug in heel with curve, throttle to vice
A subject echoed through valley's
plume of smoke amongst mountain
Daring day to keep up
carried on and thrown past
edged her knife , piercing county veil
Long-toothed shoulder bumps mix with arcane passageways
swirling whisk by twilight fog
envelope bracings kiss the fertile forest
catching evening star
Romania beckons as vibrations chill
signals of a hurdle placed
but never still
race of the undying symbol - live
As I heard her from the distance
she fell , broke and lain
covered by leaves
Soft empty hand, rugged terrain
I lost my pride to a cold heart
another dawn forever gone
drawn to endless black
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiO_7LhPZFM&sns=em
those deep and grievous wounds....
She strode alongside devils backbone,
dug in heel with curve, throttle to vice
A subject echoed through valley's
plume of smoke amongst mountain
Daring day to keep up
carried on and thrown past
edged her knife , piercing county veil
Long-toothed shoulder bumps mix with arcane passageways
swirling whisk by twilight fog
envelope bracings kiss the fertile forest
catching evening star
Romania beckons as vibrations chill
signals of a hurdle placed
but never still
race of the undying symbol - live
As I heard her from the distance
she fell , broke and lain
covered by leaves
Soft empty hand, rugged terrain
I lost my pride to a cold heart
another dawn forever gone
drawn to endless black
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiO_7LhPZFM&sns=em
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likes 7
reading list entries 1
comments 15
reads 884
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Sister missile
25th Aug 2015 11:32pm
Great stuff you have here, Souldier
Opening couplet is a good hook, then a journey of words which ease nice into the rhythmic rhyme scheme of the final couple of stanzas
good show , m'man
Opening couplet is a good hook, then a journey of words which ease nice into the rhythmic rhyme scheme of the final couple of stanzas
good show , m'man
1
Re: Re. Sister missile
26th Aug 2015 00:15am
I Cant thank you enough Brother Lepp!!!
Comments from you are pearls my friend!!!
Comments from you are pearls my friend!!!
Re. Sister missile
26th Aug 2015 5:25am
Long Toothed Shoulder Bumps.................had em all through the poem .......
1
Re: Re. Sister missile
26th Aug 2015 2:12pm
:) Appreciate your keen eye and time - Drivel - Thanks for swinging by good Sir!!!
Re. Sister missile
Anonymous
27th Aug 2015 7:43am
I listened to the song because i was so curious to know the connection to the poem and you didn't disappoint me :) At first i wasn't familiar with the band but with a little investigation I realized one of their songs 'fade into you' was familiar from few years ago. Beautiful song to accompany this dark and beautiful poem Soul.
For the reader it could've been relatable on many levels of history of wounds and ruins but by adding 'Romania' it changed the meaning to a different level. S3 superb! I can't help but feel there's always a spark of hope even sadness of it all.
For the reader it could've been relatable on many levels of history of wounds and ruins but by adding 'Romania' it changed the meaning to a different level. S3 superb! I can't help but feel there's always a spark of hope even sadness of it all.
1
Re: Re. Sister missile
27th Aug 2015 11:51am
:) Always hope indeed
I appreciate you taking time Vee
( Those folks had a few project bands that gleaned some rather atmospheric tunes)
I appreciate you taking time Vee
( Those folks had a few project bands that gleaned some rather atmospheric tunes)
Re. Sister missile
28th Aug 2015 1:42am
Re: Re. Sister missile
28th Aug 2015 11:53am
Re. Sister missile
29th Aug 2015 3:51am
The words mesh together so nicely in beautiful images , Soul man ! Awesome as always .
1
Re: Re. Sister missile
30th Aug 2015 5:25pm
Tony good to see ya Brother- DU has missed your art!!!
Appreciate you stopping by!!!
Appreciate you stopping by!!!
Re. Sister missile
30th Aug 2015 5:26am
You created a haunting picture and yet leave enough room for the reader to insert his own ideas as well. Excellent composition.
1
Re: Re. Sister missile
30th Aug 2015 5:27pm
Thank you so much Jazz!!!
I had hoped to leave it vague enough without being too so- I tend to do that a lot.
I had hoped to leave it vague enough without being too so- I tend to do that a lot.
Re: Re. Sister missile
30th Aug 2015 5:35pm
Re. Sister missile
31st Aug 2015 00:55am
Re. Sister missile
13th Nov 2015 8:48am
I thought to have commented on
this one, hmm?
Either way, I still love this one as
the visual sucked me in. Gosh
how I adore that! makes me
apart of.
Have been missed !
-Howlings
this one, hmm?
Either way, I still love this one as
the visual sucked me in. Gosh
how I adore that! makes me
apart of.
Have been missed !
-Howlings
1