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deepundergroundpoetry.com

global warming

I can't seem to control my body's core temperature.
I stick my head in the freezer like i'm still smoking crack and the ribs bbq themselves.
The popsicles return to a liquid state.
Can't keep ice cubes in my drinks.
When the next ice age happens,
it will forever be referred to as "when John finally put his pants back on".

My dick never shrivels,
nipples are always hard,
but not because of the weather.
I just always feel like I'm getting fucked.
Hothead ready to make hamburger outta faces of people I don't even dislike.
My brain feels like  0,0 latitude,longitude.
The exact oppossite of everything in my x wife's heart.
I just wanted to cum on her tits everyday,
but she suggested we marry for the presents we'd get from everyone,
and the only gifts we got was the shit I bought.

Everything has a stink to it lately.

I hot farted on my pit bull once accidentally while sleeping.Felt bad about it,
and now he gets me back everyday.

Now all other dogs pant and laugh when they see me on the street like they know.
It's just the frequency of it that hurts.

I get the way they feel though.
If you come up to me,take something I'm chewing on and throw it just to see me run,
it ain't gonna be the toy I go after.

On the notion of bad gas,
missing the fuck outta NY lately.

I'd kill 3 guys to find a decent pizza in Louisiana.

I think bitches at funerals are always fucking sexy and I never complain about a booty quief during anal comfort sex.
As long as I'm pitchin.


My cigarettes
light and hotbox themselves.
The dope cooks on it's own.
All I gotta do is carry the burgers to the grill.
I huff freon and it boils.
My air conditioner is working harder than Donald Trump's political strategist,
plus my X Box every time I harvest my weed plants.
The polar ice caps write sad,fatalistic poems about me traveling too far north
or south.
Summer in kuwait is fucking jealous.

I look like a cokehead,conehead Dan Akroyd, half muslim,steroid user, homeless wigger with 17 cold compresses under a dew rag
and his department of corrections number tattooed on the back of his hand.
It's taken me 14 years to get my degree cuz I keep getting arrested and dropping out of all my summer classes
cuz it's so fuckin hot,going to jail in the winter and sweating a cell.
And still won't shave anything but my balls.
College has become nothing but a pre req for grad school, if you wanna make any real money without the risk of a narcotics distribution or arson charge..
Over 999 grams is a possible life sentence even though it's non violent. And district attorneys make more than the profits from that move quarterly.
9 posession of marijuana charges will make you have to get a waiver from the director of public safety just to get on campus,
And now the reefer is pretty much legal but you can't unring that bell.If I ever get my ass outta the feild and up in the house I'm setting fire to the whole sick fucking castle.
The cherry is Santa just put out a hit on me,
but hey fuck him too.
























Written by johnrot
Published
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