deepundergroundpoetry.com
Deviantrix
she brings me these gifts: of joy; & of agony.
the place where she loves me is as close as it is
distant. I can sit there & hear horns, Voluntary,
over the hills.
the night is hot, she tells me. she turns in her bed.
on her skin, the sheets cling, made sultry by the rude
air. they circle her like a vine, & in that wrapping, &
that clinging, she feels me. burrowing, she says, into
her; an urgency adjures, & she cannot close her legs.
and I see this as a corrupt thing, serpentine, crawling
into her, not loving but raping. the rapture assaults her,
& her hips rise, gyrate, not to repel it, but to suck it in
more deeply. her fingers enter like vandals, & the friction
evicts her moans.
her body trembles & tenses, imploring release. she speaks
my name as she ascends to her secret star. her passion
becomes liquid & pours from her, cascading torment, until
the only wetness remaining are her tears…
she drags me into the whirlpool of her tremors, efflorescing
in my grasp, as if no man had ever held her before. no space
permeates the crushed microns between our bodies, nor the
silverest light dapples our adjoining: we are branded upon
each other.
this is my agony. and my joy…
Published 21st Aug 2015
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likes 20
reading list entries 6
comments 16
reads 1514
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
A thrill to read! "We are branded upon each other," so that joy and agony are hopefully shared. It seems so. "She feels me burrowing, she says, into her." The rapture is welcome. Great title, by the way. A new word is born...
21st Aug 2015 7:30pm
John love this hot Deviantrix you describe here
always with an eye to poetic detail..
a masterpiece..
with love Crim
always with an eye to poetic detail..
a masterpiece..
with love Crim
Anonymous
21st Aug 2015 8:52pm
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
22nd Aug 2015 1:11am
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
22nd Aug 2015 1:17am
This is why you're the King of Noir. . .for poems such as this one. . .Your talent "gyrates" me. . .xoxo, Devlin;)
22nd Aug 2015 3:11am
Imprinting is forever and always comes with a connective and bittersweet price. This captures the beautiful agony of that.
22nd Aug 2015 4:08am
You captured passion and unraveled it down to the prime ..Beauttifully penned angst and ecxtasy ...in depths of need
Fav lines:
on her skin, the sheets cling, made sultry by the rude
air. they circle her like a vine, & in that wrapping, &
that clinging, she feels me. burrowing,
Love the word burrowing there...adds intensity and reflects his primal need as well...Truly enjoyed this
Fav lines:
on her skin, the sheets cling, made sultry by the rude
air. they circle her like a vine, & in that wrapping, &
that clinging, she feels me. burrowing,
Love the word burrowing there...adds intensity and reflects his primal need as well...Truly enjoyed this
22nd Aug 2015 5:54am
Reads a bit dusty to me--I mean some of the sentences lag, trail effetely, especially third stanza and the next to last.
22nd Aug 2015 7:54am
The agonies of transparently echoed distant yearnings for close[est].. am just stunned, SirJ.. and o'course *sighing
"her body trembles & tenses, imploring release. she speaks
my name as she ascends to her secret star. her passion
becomes liquid & pours from her, cascading torment, until
the only wetness remaining are her tears…"
~written just So.. the craved closeness here is sexy as all hades, yet consuming of shiny eyes at same time..finely writ!
beauty has graced you [and we all] in this write. be well sweet man,
~d
"her body trembles & tenses, imploring release. she speaks
my name as she ascends to her secret star. her passion
becomes liquid & pours from her, cascading torment, until
the only wetness remaining are her tears…"
~written just So.. the craved closeness here is sexy as all hades, yet consuming of shiny eyes at same time..finely writ!
beauty has graced you [and we all] in this write. be well sweet man,
~d
22nd Aug 2015 9:24am
'and I see this as a corrupt thing, serpentine, crawling
into her, not loving but raping. the rapture assaults her,
& her hips rise, gyrate, not to repel it, but to suck it in
more deeply. her fingers enter like vandals, & the friction
evicts her moans'
Every line is delicate and erratic at the same time,
you draw from your two emotions with a persistence to be as accurate as possible. It is impressive. This verse/stanza particularly had me, I think because the first two it took me a little while to be there, to see it and feel it and smell it. By this stanza I felt I knew where I was. Thank you for this write. You have the erotica down. Write on.
into her, not loving but raping. the rapture assaults her,
& her hips rise, gyrate, not to repel it, but to suck it in
more deeply. her fingers enter like vandals, & the friction
evicts her moans'
Every line is delicate and erratic at the same time,
you draw from your two emotions with a persistence to be as accurate as possible. It is impressive. This verse/stanza particularly had me, I think because the first two it took me a little while to be there, to see it and feel it and smell it. By this stanza I felt I knew where I was. Thank you for this write. You have the erotica down. Write on.
22nd Aug 2015 11:35am
Another masterpiece JF!! Right to the reading list this; to be pored over and contemplated. Thank you Sir for this fine ink.
Anonymous
23rd Aug 2015 4:23am
This utters so lucidly the addictive quality of such a relationship. As a fine whisky can burn the throat and warm the soul, yet eventually corrode the body, I get the same sensation from this masterpiece of unbridled lust and consequence.
23rd Aug 2015 7:26am
Her fingers enter like vandals and the friction evicts her moans...
Evicts being the choice word here.
Sensei
What is there from here
But praise.
🚬💋J
Evicts being the choice word here.
Sensei
What is there from here
But praise.
🚬💋J
23rd Aug 2015 9:54am
Wow John,
Beautiful, sensuously erotic and deeply poetic very arousing and not a single Anglo-Saxon word used.
I love the image and the unique title, too.
A blessing to read.
P.S. Can you send her around to mine please? ;-)
Beautiful, sensuously erotic and deeply poetic very arousing and not a single Anglo-Saxon word used.
I love the image and the unique title, too.
A blessing to read.
P.S. Can you send her around to mine please? ;-)
24th Aug 2015 2:29pm
I really enjoyed this piece. Shorter than usual. But the pain and the joy are hand in hand most of the time. Sometimes one is more pleasurable than another.
26th Aug 2015 3:31pm
It becomes more passionate with each rupture, bodies intermingled, it doesn't get any better than that
Written with such artistry skill only a true poetic legend possesses.
Written with such artistry skill only a true poetic legend possesses.
