I thought I'd let you know

Best to let you know
that the news of marriages,
births and deaths
fails to meet my spectrum.
I'm an Uncle six times over
to a collection of strangers
that will stay that way
unless their parents
convince them to meet me.

I won't be turning up to your party
in fancy dress...
The idea of being surrounded
by a group of people
who share the belief that wearing clothes
outside of their usual remit
will enhance the experience
gives me that syrupy sick feeling
in my throat that I get
when reading most poetry.

Nor, do I want to go bowling
or to the cinema, infact...
Cancel the trip to the pub
next weekend, I'd rather 
drink alone.

I will not be seen in a restaurant
paying for food I could cook myself.
Restaurants are for people who like
to be watched whilst they eat:
Performers without talent.

There is enough entertainment
in the human brain
without buying in to the enslaught
of distractions that pave the way
for stupidity.
I'll grow old
with my books,
wine and cigarettes
listening to symphony music
as my friends tire of me.
All the while,
having one hell
of a time.