Showing Off

 Look at you and your expensive lightweight cycle
Your name on your shirt I can see it’s St.Michael
In your mind you’re cycling the ‘Tour De France’
In your aliens head helmet and your Lycra pants
It’s not just your balls that are out on show
It’s your pride and your over inflated ego

Look at you jogging down the street
Your feet slap the road two like slabs of meat
In your mind you’re in a race with a medal chance
In your designer top and spandex pants
It’s not just your camel toe you’ve got on show
It’s your pride and your over inflated ego

Look at you in all your rambling gear
In your kaki shorts and woolly headgear
In your mind you’re climbing the Matterhorn
With your black rucksack and your boots well worn
It’s no just a fat arse you’ve got on show
It’s your pride and your over inflated ego

Look at you in your prime with your dancers smile
With your matador top and diamante style
In your mind you’re Gene Kelly, singing in the rain
As you waltz round the floor with your partner Lorraine
It’s not just your pressing cock that you’ve got on show
It’s your pride and your over inflated ego

I know that you think that you’re all powder kegs
But you’re just showing off cause you’ve got two legs
Because of recent events I have just got the one
And you smile your bastard smile cause I am one to shun
So you look down at me with your superior view
But I can do something that you can not do

I can write a sonnet that would break your heart
I can write poetic rants to tear your mind apart
I can write nonsense verse that’ll make you pee your pants
I can write erotic verse to leave you in a trance
I can write sad songs to make you shed a tear
I can write battle hymn to make you jump and cheer

If you can do your own thing and all of these too
I’m sorry to inform you I so fucking hate you