PreOwned Doll

There is nothing for him I haven't already thought or felt before.
I tried to give myself a chance, but it just doesn't seem fair anymore.
He wants to be special to me, and I am trying so hard
to be strong and faithful, and hide all the scars
that you've etched into me
but I don't know how much longer I can hide it.
I feel a crippling pain in my chest; I don't know how to describe it -
this feeling like I'm betraying you.
What is this misguided loyalty?
How could you not feel guilty,
why do I feel what you should?
How did you leave me so easily, and do what I never could?
No, don't tell me.
I can't bare to hear the answer. 
I know the truth, and it is consuming me like cancer.
I promised I would never leave you.
I swore I would love you to the bitter end.
Will I still be keeping my promise to you
if I tried to do so as a friend?
What does that even mean?
I don't know anymore...
I have tried so hard to scrub my conscience clean, but now I'm not so sure
you're the one I should feel I'm betraying.
Perhaps he is the one I should feel guilty for.



(this is a couple weeks old, and no longer applies to my situation anymore, but I thought I would post it anyways.)