You Think You Know What You Don't

(literally wrote this minutes before something crazy, turned out to be rather apt)

You think you know
And then come to find you don't
Everything is an illusion
Mind and heart made delusion

You believe you've got it
But it's just wishful thinking
Confidence only sets the path
For disappointment

You think you know what you have
Till it becomes what you had
Does real exist?
Or do we just make ourselves believe?

Are we really striving for love?
Or is the slightest connection all we really need?
Do we just want validation through companionship?
Or through physical desire??

Do we even know what we look for?
Or do we just know that something's missing?
Is the hole in our chest a product of conditioning?
Or are we really as empty as we feel??

Is happiness just a tool
To provide temporary satiation
To force us to fight
For the will to survive?

We're so afraid of being killed
But are we killing ourselves internally
Unaware of the fact that
Our hands control the blades that pierce us?

I choose to draw blood willingly
Other times I bleed by subconscious force
I like to think I'm the director
But control is not completely mine

I never chose to surrender
It was taken, torn, stolen
And now my core is at the behest of
Criminals I cannot thwart

The criminal I see
My greatest biggest enemy
Is just me
Yeah, I fear what I could be

Paranoid, nontrusting
Dark ice protection
Comforted by disconnection
Secure in leaving risk alone

Anyone is susceptible
To damage of being left
I am not immune
To poisonous effects

But I will take elements of self
And try my best to create something beautiful
Something worthy of love and
That won't cave to tests of time

Whenever it gets lost
I will find it and cherish it
I'll remind of strength it demonstrates
And watch it light up with smiles

I'll embrace the hidden inner glow
And find reasons to keep on going
Because even when I'm not shining
It doesn't mean I deserve to fall

You can't always reflect tenderness
Not when things get hard
Mirrors would surely break if they saw my face
It'd just be bad luck

I have many things to ponder
Many webs of confusion to untangle still
But I will find my way through what is
To get to whatever lies beyond this

You think you know what is
And then come to find you don't
But there is no solution
You just have to keep on moving