deepundergroundpoetry.com
Should Have Listened
I should have listened to my intuition
It told me all the things that were missing
But I chose the other way
And ignored what my mind would say
I should have listened to that feeling
One filled with fear but oh so revealing
The one that made me cry at night
The one that said I'd be alright
I should have heard the sound of that voice
Telling me I'd have no choice
To accept what I don't want to be true
There was never anything I could do
I saw it coming a mile off in the distance
Conflicted feelings and nothing consistent
Then cold underlying truth slapped me hard in the face
You think you're spending time to discover it's a waste
I shouldn't have dismissed it for paranoid thoughts
There was a price to pay and my heart was the cost
Now here I am in debt to myself
How can I repay it when I've been maxed out?
I'm smarter than this but stupid with my heart
Maybe I secretly like to tear myself apart
Walk straight into the dark till I loose sight of where I turn
If the fire seems worth fighting I'll go till I get burned
I shouldn't have ignored that sharp pain in my chest
Slow and painful slices till the blade touched raw flesh
Blood flowed internally then made its way to surface edge
But I cleaned up my wounds as if I'd never even bled
I should have trusted me and this I see
It always was the best way to be
Foolish hope and belief in another
Just leaves you nowhere to turn to for cover
Intuition rarely steers me in wrong directions
It deserved so much more when it had such good intentions
I apologize to myself for repeating same mistakes
Emotions got the best of me and again regret is what I take
Somehow I'll find forgiveness because what I have is real love
I try to look for it in others but my supply's more than enough
So I'll just keep it close to me and remember it's okay
I'm a messed up work in progress but maybe I'll perfect balance some day
It told me all the things that were missing
But I chose the other way
And ignored what my mind would say
I should have listened to that feeling
One filled with fear but oh so revealing
The one that made me cry at night
The one that said I'd be alright
I should have heard the sound of that voice
Telling me I'd have no choice
To accept what I don't want to be true
There was never anything I could do
I saw it coming a mile off in the distance
Conflicted feelings and nothing consistent
Then cold underlying truth slapped me hard in the face
You think you're spending time to discover it's a waste
I shouldn't have dismissed it for paranoid thoughts
There was a price to pay and my heart was the cost
Now here I am in debt to myself
How can I repay it when I've been maxed out?
I'm smarter than this but stupid with my heart
Maybe I secretly like to tear myself apart
Walk straight into the dark till I loose sight of where I turn
If the fire seems worth fighting I'll go till I get burned
I shouldn't have ignored that sharp pain in my chest
Slow and painful slices till the blade touched raw flesh
Blood flowed internally then made its way to surface edge
But I cleaned up my wounds as if I'd never even bled
I should have trusted me and this I see
It always was the best way to be
Foolish hope and belief in another
Just leaves you nowhere to turn to for cover
Intuition rarely steers me in wrong directions
It deserved so much more when it had such good intentions
I apologize to myself for repeating same mistakes
Emotions got the best of me and again regret is what I take
Somehow I'll find forgiveness because what I have is real love
I try to look for it in others but my supply's more than enough
So I'll just keep it close to me and remember it's okay
I'm a messed up work in progress but maybe I'll perfect balance some day
Published 26th Jul 2015
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27th Jul 2015 11:37am
This is the story of my life - I am a poster child for 'should have listened' - sorry to say the search for perfect balance is a never ending one for most of us, but I wish you well :-)
excellent write - thought provoking :-)
excellent write - thought provoking :-)
28th Jul 2015 00:02am
Some hard-hitting truth I probably don't want to face, but thanks for it. I have to believe I can get closer at least or I'll have no motivation to try lol. Perhaps the focus should be that it can be better, and to keep striving for improvement. That's likely enough. I understand perfecting it is idealism, but I shall continue to seek to learn. If it gets me nowhere in the end, at least I'll know I gave it my best. Can't do much more than that.
Thank you for the well wishes as well as your comment. Both are very much appreciated.
Thank you for the well wishes as well as your comment. Both are very much appreciated.
28th Jul 2015 00:39am
28th Jul 2015 5:16am
Funny how paranoia makes you so blind, scared of looking foolish, afraid even, but hindsight, it smacks reality right into you! Love how so many people can relate to you. Awesome poetry.
28th Jul 2015 5:51am
You know, I think paranoia and intuition are very tough to distinguish between. That's what I've learned. When emotions are intense it seriously gets hard to tell the difference, it's crazy! Mastering that will be a challenge indeed. Lol. Another challenge to overcome is to not blame one's self when you get it wrong...
I appreciate your kind words, thank you so much. I am extremely happy you liked this!
I appreciate your kind words, thank you so much. I am extremely happy you liked this!
