Not a Proper Poet

Dedicated to the 'serious' beard and sandals bullshit brigade.

I’m not a ‘serious’ poet that much I clearly know
Not been formally educated like ‘proper’ poets so
I tend to write in couplets, a simpleton am I
I’ll never make a poet no matter how I try

That’s why the pseudo-intellectual literati group
Will never admit me to their close-knit troupe
It’s because I use humour I’m not 'fashionable' you see
They look down their noses at an ignoramus like me

I need a degree in English lit. or a doctorate like my ‘betters’
Then they might accept me as a serious man of letters
To use humour is a sacrilege, couplets are a crime
I must write in the abstract without rhythm, sense or rhyme

I listened to these poets, supposedly bright and good
But hardly a single stanza I barely understood
I asked some to explain to me what the others said
But all I got was waffle and sad shake of the head

So I told ‘em bollocks! you’re full of piss and wind
They asked for an apology not a word did I rescind
I will never bend the knee nor rhymlessness employ
I’ll keep writing funny stuff that brings me great joy