How I Feel Thought Never

(letting go of something I've had for too long)

Time for an honest right
One designed to help myself
To release the pain within my heart
Let go of emotion held
There's so much that I've thought
And so much more that I have felt
But I bet you've never thought about it
I bet it's never once occurred

Has it ever crossed your mind
How hard this must be
What it's like to have to contain
Such a special part of me
What it's like to have to keep secret
The smile on my face
I bet you've never thought about it
I bet it's never crossed your mind

I bet you've never thought of how I've longed to share my stories
And what it would mean to me to be able to tell
How disappointment strikes when moments turn into sorry's
Because each time tried was never handled well
Do you have any clue how it feels
To hold back from the one I want here for me most?
I bet you've never thought about it
I bet you haven't thought of it once

The way it felt to keep inside what I longed to scream out
Those times I needed perspective on which path I should take
The fear and nervousness, insecurities and doubts
All the things that make my heart deeply ache
And I used to think I could talk to you
But that truly wasn't and isn't the case
And I bet you've never thought about it
Never thought about it once

Because why would you think when you have so much to feel
Unable to be genuine in happiness you express
Now I know all the things you've concealed
And why this turned out to be such a mess
Things can get pretty insane
When emotions control events
But I bet you've never thought about it
Haven't stopped to think about it once

And you can continue blaming the circumstances
But we both know the bitter truth
The extra tension was just a small piece
Your actions hold the proof
Any threat to the path you imagined
Would have resulted the same too
And I bet you've never thought about it
Haven't thought about it once

How could you not see the potential
These methods had for ruining
Never stopped to think
Of damage you could be doing
You just let yourself sink
Your heart you kept on fooling
And I bet you never thought about it
Haven't thought about it at all

Although I understand the reasons
It doesn't change the fact that
It hurts to want support
In the areas I just can't have it
I've dealt with it so long
Then reality slapped back and
I bet you've never thought about it

But I've thought about it lots