deepundergroundpoetry.com
Born again human
Does our desire
fade
like the morning mist
on a sunny day
when we slowly started
to understand
being
born again
is not as easy
as we planned
when we agreed
with common sense
to break these chains
of our shallow intent
to move
a little deeper
into the waters of life
that has
not yet died
fade
like the morning mist
on a sunny day
when we slowly started
to understand
being
born again
is not as easy
as we planned
when we agreed
with common sense
to break these chains
of our shallow intent
to move
a little deeper
into the waters of life
that has
not yet died
Published 11th Jul 2015
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
11th Jul 2015 5:46pm
I enjoyed reading this, it feels well thought out. I like the thought process unwinding
In the way of critique, I'd change one of those " slowly" words, as using it twice in such a short piece makes it feel redundant. That's all though
nice work :)
In the way of critique, I'd change one of those " slowly" words, as using it twice in such a short piece makes it feel redundant. That's all though
nice work :)
11th Jul 2015 6:11pm
11th Jul 2015 7:40pm
12th Jul 2015 10:11am
thank you for reading
if you like
follw the road
behind my eyes
smashwords.com
or read at slideshare/drone1
if you like
follw the road
behind my eyes
smashwords.com
or read at slideshare/drone1
12th Jul 2015 4:45pm
